Ever Elusive
by elsiie
Summary: The feeling that consumed her body and mind. It was probably something akin to…jealousy. Hakuryuu/Kougyoku. AU.
1. Morning Lullaby

**Ever Elusive**

_By elsiie_

**Genre: **Romance, Drama

**Rating: **T

**Summary:** The feeling that consumed her body and mind. It was probably something akin to…jealousy. Ryuu/Gyoku. AU.

**Characters: **Ren Hakuryuu, Ren Kougyoku

* * *

**Chapter One - **Morning Lullaby

* * *

From their house, one could hear the sound of waves crashing. For they lived near the sea, just before the sand began. It was soothing, Kougyoku had decided a long time ago. She wasn't sure if her siblings thought the same, but she was too afraid to ask them. But she assumed they did or they would've complained out loud by now.

However, this particular morning, all she could hear was a soft melody that filled her room and head.

It was fairly early as well, the sun was just beginning to rise, she observed from her window. So naturally, it puzzled her as to why there was a song playing so early in the morning. It wasn't necessarily loud, but it was quite intrusive, drowning out the sound of the waves.

Breathing a heavy sigh, she pushed down her bed covers and laid her feet on the cold wooden floor. As soon as she made contact with the cool surface, she immediately regretted it, feeling that familiar urge to jump straight back into bed. Nevertheless, the pink haired girl slipped her feet into her pair of slippers and walked slowly to her bedroom door.

By the time she made it to the hallway, the melody had intensified. It was most definitely coming from her house. Using her sleep addled mind, she tried to piece bits of information together, looking for a reasonable conclusion. Kougyoku recalled her brothers telling her (or themselves rather) that they we're going on a road trip for a week. She hadn't necessarily wanted to go, but she wished they had at least asked.

But that meant that she should have been alone in the large house.

And she was most certainly not, the now loud melody being the sole proof that there was someone else there.

It seemed to be originating from the guest bedrooms. She found herself wondering if it was an imprudent criminal. Perhaps she should have picked up a weapon, Kouha's baseball bat maybe. Too late now, her footsteps had probably alerted the criminal. As she predicted, the closer she got to the source of the song, the quieter it became.

With a tentative hand, she twisted the doorknob. It rattled a little, but opened without much trouble. The music abruptly halted.

"May I help you?" were not at all words a thief would use.

Her mind went blank at the sight of her younger cousin, by a year, standing in the middle of the room with a violin in his hands. One of his dark eyebrows was raised slightly. He was already in his clothes for the day, a white button up shirt and blue jeans – all very casual. Her eyes focused on the violin in his hand. _That's right, I remember him winning some prize when we were young. _To be completely honest, she had thought that he had quit a long time ago.

"Hakuryuu-chan…? What are you doing here? Where's your sister?" Kougyoku asked incredulously.

The dark blue haired youth set his instrument down gently and she found herself feeling impressed at his obvious care for an inanimate object. Impressed and amused.

"Hakuei went for a jog around half an hour ago," he then looked at her in a somewhat puzzled manner. "Don't you know why we're here?"

She shook her head. "I haven't been told – " She cut herself off suddenly, realizing that what she was saying made her sound out of the loop. Not important enough to be informed. And while that was the truth, she didn't really want anyone to know that.

Thankfully, her cousin didn't seem to notice, or if he did, he didn't show it.

"If you've forgotten, we're staying here for around a month because the house is getting renovated."

Nodding slowly, Kougyoku accepted his reason. That made sense. During the holidays, her cousins, now stepsiblings she supposed, never came to the holiday house. Even though it really wasn't that far from the large house they all usually lived in, they still decided not to come. _Perhaps it's because of that woman…. _Then, a terrifying thought decided to enter her head.

"A – and, what about your mother?"

Almost immediately, his face contorted into scowl. Then again, whose didn't, when Gyokuen became the conversation topic?

"Thankfully, my mother detests the ocean. She decided to rent out a hotel," he answered her.

She held back her sigh of relief. _Thank god, I wouldn't be able to cope at all if she were here. _This beach house was essentially her only escape from her stepmother. Although that was not the reason she always found a reason to stay, it might as well be.

Hakuryuu glanced at the clock. "I should go make breakfast."

"No, I can do…" she trailed off when he gave her a tender smile.

"It's the least I could do for letting us stay here."

_Well, technically my brothers let you guys…_ Still, if she was in charge, it was not like she could refuse them – even with her distaste for Hakuei.

She followed him downstairs, glad that it was him that was making breakfast and not his sister. Because the last time she cooked, well, Kougyoku would rather not talk about it. She was positive that Koumei was _still_ suffering from bouts of explosive diarrhoea.

"Is there anything you would like?" Hakuryuu slipped a pristine white apron, which had been hanging over the oven handle, over his head.

"French toast would be nice," she answered, a little in disbelief. Who would have wondered that she would be spending her Saturday morning by having her (younger) cousin cook for her? She took a seat on one of the stools by the kitchen bench.

Hakuryuu made his way over to the stainless steel fridge, which had been cleaned so well, it resembled a mirror. _That would be the housekeeper, _Kougyoku mused. He pulled out all the necessary components, taking a little longer than Koumei would, as he was unfamiliar with the layout, which was understandable.

"Where are the bowls?" He asked her, after setting the ingredients down on the bench.

Lifting a finger, she pointed to the cupboard over his head. He voiced his thanks before reaching up. It was brought to her attention that his dark blue locks were getting into his eyes. Every now and then he would impatiently brush his hair out of the way, only to sigh when they moved back into place. She was not sure whether it would be alright for her to keep watching him in a slightly voyeuristic manner. Kougyoku turned her head to the right, where the window that led to the beach was.

Still, she continued to watch him out of the corner of her eye.

He was a good cook, she would give him that (although everyone was aware of that). His movements were swift and each sway of his hand held some purpose.

"You would be the perfect wife Hakuryuu-chan," she giggled before hastily stopping – the words had escaped her mouth before she could stop them.

The boy laughed, "I suppose so…"

And she wondered if she had hurt his feelings. Men didn't like being called feminine in any way or form after all.

"I _mean_, like, you're good at things like that - " Kougyoku looked down at her hands, "I'm a little envious."

_That…probably wasn't the best thing to say, _she cursed herself. He was still mixing the eggs and milk together, although his pale blue eyes were focused on her. If he was unpleased with her blunt words, he didn't show it, his face calm and composed.

"I can teach you if you want."

She started, then began to wave her hands in front of her hurriedly, "N-no – it's fine – "

Her frail ego probably couldn't take being taught to _cook _by a boy younger than her, even if they were only a year apart.

One of his deft hands placed a piece of white bread into the milk-egg mixture, the other went to move the hair out of his eyes.

_It must be really bothering him…_

Kougyoku's own hand sat on the bench surface, her pink eyes drifted towards it and rested on the blue hair band wound around her wrist. She must have put it there last night and forgotten to take it off.

"Stay still for a second, Hakuryuu-chan!"

He looked at incredulously, but otherwise obeyed her. Kougyoku leaned over the counter and reached for his bangs. The boy's eyes widened in surprise.

"Wha – what are you doing?" sputtered her cousin.

Her fingers grabbed a hold of the locks of hair that seemed to be doing the most damage.

"Hang on a sec – done!"

And she sat back to admire her handiwork. _Not bad, not bad at all. _He, in the meantime, was staring at her with a look of utter disbelief. The realization that she may have been too pushy in her actions downed on her.

A creased formed between her eyebrows, "You don't like it?"

Hakuryuu moved his head from side to side, indicating a negative, his mouth forming a grateful smile.

"No, I do. Thank you, cousin." He gazed at her with clear blue eyes, the colour of the sky. "Really."

She felt her cheeks redden. Turning away, so he couldn't see the blush appearing on her cheeks, Kougyoku turned her attention back to the beach.

"G-good then. That's good." _I just said that. _

Then there was nothing but the sound of ocean waves crashing against rocks and the sizzling of something cooking in a pan. He didn't speak, so she was left to her own thoughts. The smell of French toast was wonderful, and she suddenly realized that she was hungry. _It smells _so _good, Hakuryuu-chan is a great cook… _She had stopped trying to not look at him, now openly staring, but he didn't seem to mind.

Finally, he set out the plates, placing two pieces of perfectly cooked toast on each plate. He finished off the dish by pouring a generous amount of golden syrup, dusting it off with icing sugar and adding slices of fresh strawberries.

By now, drool was threatening to escape her mouth, but because she was a lady, she held it back. Yet she couldn't fully hide the look of longing reflected in her eyes.

"It's done," he announced, sounding amused.

She quickly composed herself, before receiving the plate he slid to her. _Ugh…it looks heavenly… _Hakuryuu brought a stool around the table and sat down across from her.

"Thank you for the meal," they chorused.

Clutching the knife and fork in her hands, she dug in.

And was met with what was possibly the best French toast she had ever had.

The toast itself was soft, and fluffy yet still had a crunchy kind of texture to it. The golden syrup, icing sugar and strawberries were all very sweet, and for some people it might have been too sweet, but to her, it was perfect.

"Is it tasty?" Hakuryuu asked, tilting his head.

She nodded eagerly, her mouth full of French toast.

"Ah, that's great to hear," a relieved expression emerged on his face.

The two were then occupied with their meal. Kougyoku savoured hers, sighing dreamily as she popped piece after piece into her mouth. She didn't notice Hakuryuu watching her, an amused grin on his face.

The front door was opened then, slightly creaking as it did, before shutting lightly. Her older cousin walked into the kitchen, dressed in a pair of black tights and a sport singlet.

"How was your jog Aneue?" Hakuryuu asked, knife slicing into a piece of French toast.

"Refreshing," the dark haired woman's eyes drifted over to the bench and the two people seated there. "Ah, Kougyoku, nice to see you!"

Since Kougyoku was petty, she allowed herself to curtly reply with a short 'hello'. The siblings didn't seem to notice how she purposefully distanced herself from her elder cousin, and she wondered how anyone could be that oblivious.

Hakuei sniffed, "Wow that smells nice, did you make it Kougyoku?"

The seventeen year old stared down at her nearly empty plate before setting down her cutlery neatly. "Hakuryuu-chan did."

"Of course he did," Hakuei reached over to ruffle his hair, bursting into giggles when he ducked under her arm.

* * *

**A/N Yup, this is going to be a multi chapter ryuugyoku fic. Because why not? **


	2. Sea Walk

**Ever Elusive**

_By elsiie_

**Genre: **Romance, Drama

**Rating: **T

**Summary:** The feeling that consumed her body and mind. It was probably something akin to…jealousy. Ryuu/Gyoku. AU.

**Characters: **Ren Hakuryuu, Ren Kougyoku

* * *

**Chapter Two **– Sea Walk

* * *

Deciding that she couldn't stay there any longer, Kougyoku excused herself and returned to her room. She quickly changed into a casual white dress, she didn't plan on going anywhere special (or seeing anyone) today, and out of her slippers and into a pair of flip-flops. After allowing herself a quick checking out at the floor length mirror that was opposite her bed, the girl left her bedroom.

Treading softly down the stairs, her eyes trained on the entryway that led to the kitchen. She could make out the scraping of cutlery on plates and came to the conclusion that her cousins were still eating. She had hoped that she could exit the house silently, without gaining their attention so this discovery was a welcomed one.

Bidding a silent reply to no one in particular, she exited the house and locked it gently behind her.

The air outside was cool and it made Kougyoku feel refreshed. She could smell the faint scent of salt coming from the sea water. From the doorstep of the house, she could see the ocean itself, all bright blue and foamy, the white sand contrasting greatly. She found herself feeling excited, so she broke into a light jog, towards the beach.

It was a little difficult to walk on the sand, her feet kept sinking in, but eventually she got used to it. The wind picked up, her pink hair flying all around her like a cream soda tornado.

"It feels so nice," she said to herself, arms stretched out, feeling the breeze.

She suddenly felt uninhibited, probably from all the sugar in her breakfast and the lack of people around her, and without warning, broke into a spin. Her skirt flew around her, her hair danced and all the while, she laughed and laughed.

While she didn't like being alone, there were some advantages to it.

By the time she returned to the house, the kitchen was completely empty. The plates were drying by the sink, the counter spotless, she had to give it to them, they knew how to clean. Kougyoku glanced at the clock hanging by the entry. Half past eight. _Still so early, _she thought.

"Cousin?"

She jumped and spun around.

"H – Hakuryuu-chan! Don't scare me like that!" Kougyoku cried, her hand on her chest, trying to still her heart.

"Ah, sorry," he apologized hurriedly. "I didn't mean to surprise you."

A small sigh escaped her mouth. "No, it's fine. Did you want something?"

"Yes actually, I was wondering where the toilet paper is kept?"

"…toilet paper?"

Hakuryuu coughed, "I noticed that there was no toilet paper in the bathroom, so I tried to change it and…"

"Oh. Have you checked under the sink?" That was where it was usually kept.

The boy nodded, "And the cupboard next to the bathroom – filled with towels and shampoo - but no toilet paper."

Kougyoku brought a finger to her lip, _going to have to buy some more…_

"I'll go down to the shops," she suggested. _It's not like I have anything else to do today. _"Is there anything else you need?"

A shake of his head indicated otherwise. Then, a fairly thoughtful expression appeared on his face.

"Is it okay if I come with you?"

"Why?" She asked, her tone filled with curiosity.

"Why?" He echoed her. "To help you."

The pink haired girl stared at him, eyes a little wide, mouth slightly agape. _Why the heck is he so considerate? Are you really a teenager? _In the meanwhile, he looked at her, eyes showing only his sincerity and nothing else.

"Uh, yes I guess that's okay. We'll have to take the bus because I can't drive yet," her reply was a little awkward, and he noticed.

"If you don't want me to come, I won't – " he started.

Again, she wondered if she had offended him. She often did offend people, whether it was on accident or not. Worried about the impression she might had left on him, she hurried to correct herself.

"No!" It came out a bit too loud. Hakuryuu jumped slightly, and so did she. "I - I'd appreciate it if you came."

He didn't really look as if he believed her, but it was odd not to. So he gave her a small smile and told her that he was going to grab his wallet. Kougyoku followed him up the staircase, to her own room, where she pulled a cardigan on and changed into a pair of flats. On her desk laid a white satchel bag, where her wallet and keys were, she picked it up and slung it over her shoulder.

By the time she had arrived at the front door, her cousin was already waiting for her.

"Sorry for the wait."

"I haven't been waiting long," he replied kindly.

_How can you be so nice?! _She screamed to herself, but her face showed no hint to her internal dilemma.

She locked the door behind them, listening to the soft 'click' that echoed after she did. Stuffing her keys into her bag, Kougyoku joined her cousin on the sidewalk. Their walk to the bus stop was mostly filled with silence, the two didn't know what to talk about. At school, they were a year apart. She usually hung out with Judal while he was often in the company of Alibaba and his friends.

At times, when the passed each other in the hallways, they would wave, or nod politely. That was how it had always been, since he and his sister had joined her family.

After a few minutes of walking, the only sounds being heard being seagulls squawking and waves crashing against the beach, Hakuyruu spoke. "Where is Ka Koubun?"

Kougyoku stifled a small laugh when the dark haired man was brought up. Her attendant was a good one, albeit a little annoying. She had forbidden him from coming, telling him that the beach house was perfectly safe and that she was old enough to stay by herself. Of course, he hadn't taken it well, but he didn't dare oppose her. Not after she had given him her infamous glare. A lady of the Kou Business Empire, who could say no to her?

She laughed mischievously, as if she were hiding a secret. "Who knows?"

He went along with her deception, all the while smiling but she noticed something strange as he did.

"Why are you always doing that?" asked Kougyoku, frowning.

"Doing what?"

"That thing with your mouth," she made a motion with her hands.

The boy stared at her for a few seconds, lost before his eyes widened and his mouth formed an 'o' shape.

"You mean smiling?" However, that wasn't it. Even though his lips were pulled into a 'smile', his eyes didn't. One would definitely not call that 'smiling'. She stopped in her tracks, and he did too. He had turned to face her, that odd expression on his face, something she didn't quite recognize.

"You're not smiling," Kougyoku replied, drily.

It is as if the wind has slowed down. Everything seemed to be moving so sluggishly, their hair, their clothes, the clouds behind them. But they themselves stood so still. She didn't dare move her eyes from his. The pale blue, like the colour of the sky, yet they appeared as if they were on fire, bore into her rose tinted ones.

Hakuryuu's mouth was set in a hard line. A frown, that was what he was doing, and it was more genuine than any smile he had given her. _Did I make him angry? _Eventually, it left his face and his eyes softened a little.

Turning away from her, he started to walk again, "We should hurry to the bus stop."

Kougyoku frowned at his back. _Weird guy. _Nevertheless, she quickened her pace and before they knew it, the bus stop came into view. It was empty, which made sense as it was still quite early in the morning and the area was pretty secluded as well. Their beach house was located in a wealthy neighbourhood, rich people usually preferred not to use public transport.

By the time they reached it, there was still no bus in sight. She looked around for the familiar timetable.

"Another five minutes," she told her companion before brushing the metal bench with her hand and sitting down.

He nodded at her, albeit rather absently. A short moment passed before he moved to sit by her, leaving a bit of space between them. Out of the corner of her eye, she glimpsed an elderly woman holding onto a walking cane walk towards them. Instinctively, she made a move to give her space and bumped into something hard.

She let out a small 'oof' as did the boy next to her.

"I'm sorry Hakuryuu-chan!" She apologized but was unable to lean away as the old lady had already sat down.

He gave her a reassuring look, "It's okay."

So they sat like that, a little too close, under the blue summer sky.

oOo

"Is there a type you usually get?"

She looked over his shoulder at the item he held between his fingers. Usually, she wasn't the one who did the grocery shopping, most of the time it was the housekeeper, but she was on holiday.

"I think so." At his incredulous look, she added quickly, "I'm sure none of my brothers would even tell the difference."

Shrugging, he tossed the toilet paper into the shopping basket.

oOo

When they exited the supermarket, the first thing she noticed was that the sun's rays had gotten stronger. It wasn't unbearable, just a little annoying. Her palms had already started to get sweaty, the plastic handle digging into her soft skin. Her cousin didn't seem bothered by the heat, both hands gripping the bags filled to the brim with various goods.

Even with his hands full, he still asked, "Do you want me to help you carry those?"

Shaking her head furiously, she tightened her grip around the handles.

"Are you sure – "

"Yes! I'm fine!" Hakuryuu flinched and she froze, immediately regretting her tone. "I – I didn't mean to snap at you – "

He looked so hurt and that made her feel a hundred times worse. _Apologize, apologize! _Instead, her eyes flashed to her feet, dark pink hair hiding her face from his gaze.

"I'm sorry."

Except those words did not come from her, as they should have. Now she couldn't bring herself to say it, with flushed cheeks and teary eyes, she nodded.

oOo

In their beach house, there was a piano.

It was grand, pristine, and white and lived in their living room. Once, long ago, it had belonged to Kougyoku. Well, more like she was the only one who used it. The only reason she liked playing the instrument was because it was her only tie to her father. When she played, small hands drifting over ivory keys, her father seemed to almost enjoy her company.

But then he got sick and stopped coming. Spending all his time in that other house with her stepmother. So she stopped playing. Overtime, dust collected on the keys and the pages of her piano book grew yellow. Kougyoku realized that the piano had been neglected, like she was.

Lifting the cover of the piano while gazing forlornly at the instrument, she sat down on the stool. Her fingers instinctively went to the keys, sliding over the ivory surface. And so, she tried to play.

But it had been so long since she had, her fingers tripped over each other, the notes were hard to read, and it was as if the beauty of the piano had been lost long ago. Breathing deeply, she closed the lid of the grand piano.

Just as the lid shut, she heard the familiar sound of someone playing the violin. _Great timing Hakuryuu-chan, _the girl thought, in a slightly bitter manner.

It most likely irked her. The fact that her cousin had nearly everything she didn't. Acknowledgement from her father because of his mother's status, Kougyoku's own mother being some prostitute from the slums. His open-mind, even now, she couldn't quite fully tolerate Hakuei, although part of her wish she could. His gift in cooking, something she could never seem to achieve, no matter how hard she seemed to try. And of course, his skill that allowed him to produce such beautiful music.

Perhaps, if she had continued playing the piano, she could have reached his level of skill. But she hadn't. And she regretted it.

It was stupid and trivial, so it made sense for her to feel that way. That was just the type of person she was. Even though her cousin was so kind and gentle, she still held these horrible feelings towards him.

"I'm awful," she whispered, clutching at the smooth, dust covered surface of the piano.

But as much as she hated the feeling of jealousy, she couldn't help it. _My chest hurts. It hurts so, so much. _It felt tight, painful –

And her soul, it was covered in dirt.

* * *

**A/N Constructive criticism would be much appreciated! Thank you for reading! **


	3. Drowning Mermaid

**Ever Elusive**

_By elsiie_

**Genre: **Romance, Drama

**Rating: **T

**Summary:** The feeling that consumed her body and mind. It was probably something akin to…jealousy. Ryuu/Gyoku. AU.

**Characters: **Ren Hakuryuu, Ren Kougyoku

* * *

**Chapter Three ** – Drowning Mermaid

* * *

Kougyoku grabbed her beach bag, stuffing a towel and a bottle of sunscreen into it. _Let's see, what else do I… _Her eyes wandered over to her desk and landed on a pair of sunglasses. She made her way over to where the accessory was and quickly snapped them up.

The girl allowed herself a quick look in the mirror, making sure that she looked presentable. Her favourite swimsuit, pale blue with polka dots and frills was getting a little tight, though it was impossible to tell just by looking. Pulling her floppy sun hat over her head, she glanced at the mirror one last time before leaving the room.

By the time she reached the front door, she noticed that neither of her cousins were in the house. She didn't think much on it, they weren't forced to stay locked inside and it was a beautiful day after all. It was actually a relief to not have them there, not that she disliked their company, it was just that…talking to them was a little difficult, awkward even at times.

So she set off, quite content with her plan for the day, most of which involved her lazing about on the beach. Taking care to lock the front door behind her, she stepped out into the bright sunny day. Although a few number of clouds floated around in an almost languidly manner, taking away some of the sky's colour. Still, that was fine – for Kougyoku it was perfectly fine.

The girl spotted a nice looking spot by the water, not far from her house. She immediately walked towards it, swinging her beach bag by her side. The sand was warm beneath her, which she could feel through her flip-flops.

Letting out a satisfied sigh, she rummaged through her bag for the towel, spreading it out over the bright white sand. Adjusting her hat so that it was a little bit more comfortable, she sat down. Since she had already applied sunscreen back at the house, now she was free to simply relax for a while. Placing her back gently against the towel and closing her eyes, she let herself drift off.

However, pleasant dreams did not await her. Feelings of doubt, loneliness and fear, of the future especially, ran through her mind once she shut her eyes. No matter how hard she tried, she always seemed to rest on those negative feelings.

Suddenly, the wind around the pink haired girl picked up. It wasn't that violent, but still strong enough to lift her sun hat off her head. Her eyes fluttered open like a butterflies wings and she sat up straight, just in time to see her hat glide towards the sea. Immediately, she was up, running towards her hat, hands outstretched, feet sliding across the soft sand.

She waded into the sea, shivering slightly when her warm skin made contact with the cool water. It was harder to run in the water, so she started to use her hands to move through it. Kougyoku could see the hat, just beyond her grasp, and it was almost like it was laughing at her, mocking her.

The same time her hand reached for it, the sand suddenly dipped. She lost her grip on the surface and stumbled. It had gotten deep so suddenly, she could feel herself becoming distressed when her feet refused to reach the floor she knew was there.

Before Kougyoku knew it, she was struggling to keep her head above the water. The sun hat had begun to float out to see by now, soon to be out of reach.

"No…!" she tried to say, water filling her mouth before her sentence was able to get out.

And she went under.

It was difficult to keep her head clear, focused. She had already swallowed a lot of sea water and the back of her throat stung. Through her blurry vision, all she could see was the dark depths of the sea. All this happened in the span of two minutes.

The seventeen year old came to the realization that she was drowning.

Her arms started to tremble, her chest became tight, and the feeling that frightened her most of all was that her body was already giving up. The legs she used daily had stopped moving, and after a short while, so did her arms. She was floating to the bottom of the sea, where all the other abandoned things lay, for all eternity.

_Someone…save me._

The sea she had always loved was killing her. Was this betrayal?

_Bastard, _she mouthed sluggishly before closing her eyes.

oOo

She felt something tug at her arm. It was a shame she couldn't see who it was, for her eyes were still firmly shut.

The hold on her arm tightened and the next thing she was aware of was that she was being pulled. The water rushed past her, so fast, like she was being dragged through a vortex of sorts. Just like that, there was air. All around her. She tried to inhale it but her lungs were filled to the brim with salt water.

Someone lifted Kougyoku, and she found herself surrounded by a pair of lean, yet strong arms. They picked her up from the water and carried her to where she hoped safety was. It was so hard for her to stay conscious, she wanted to just fall asleep, drift into unconsciousness. But she was afraid that if she did, she would never wake up again. So she fought against the blindness.

The arms laid her on the sand, now a little too warm.

"…gyoku…!"

Her lips opened and shut, making her resemble a fish. Which, in a way, she was. A fish out of water.

"Kougyoku!"

And a pair of hands were brought to the side of her face, exposing the inside of her mouth. At that moment in time, she didn't care about first kisses or her purity.

She just didn't want to die.

Hence she let him take it. This worthless thing she was supposed to treasure.

His lips met hers, giving her the gift of life, or rather, returning it. Then, hands were pressed against her chest and she coughed out sea water mixed with her own spit. This cycle repeated, for who knows how long, until she felt herself coming back. Pink eyes, the colour of candy floss and rose quartz flew open to see her saviour.

"You saved…me," tears came to her eyes and she cursed herself for being such a cry baby. At least these were tears of joy. "…Hakuryuu-chan."

He looked so relieved, azure eyes softening and he brought a hand to his hair, moving those dark blue locks out of the way. Shocked, she was, at the realization that someone was worried about her. She noticed that he was shirtless, his skin glistening with water, glittering faintly under the sun's rays. His voice brought her attention back to his face, which had started to look strained.

"I – I saw you go under while I was walking towards the house," muttered he, leaning back from her. _He was there? _"By the time I got here, I thought…I thought I was already too late."

She reached for his hand that laid beside her, to comfort herself as much as him. Her hands were icy so they found his warm ones soothing. This forwardness was so unlike her, but she was so tired, scared and confused that she was finding it hard to think and act properly. His gaze was stern, stained with trepidation that revealed how worried he really was.

"You almost _died,_" the words were low but carried so much strength.

"I know," she whispered. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

The tears started to drip from her eyes, travelling down her gleaming skin and splattering onto the sand below them. She wasn't just apologizing to him, but to herself as well. For not trying hard enough, for giving up too easily, for wanting to

die.

"Why are you apologizing?" the sixteen year old asked, softly, in what seemed like a confused manner.

She responded with a small laugh, slightly bitter in tone. "For being stupid." Her tears had turned into a waterfall, rolling down her cheeks at an alarming speed. "I'm so dumb – "

Before she could finish her sentence, she felt a hard grip on her shoulders, the top of her arms. The girl looked up in shock to see her cousin, almost _glaring _at her, eyes furrowed in fury.

"You're _not, _don't ever say that," he shook her slightly, all the while looking at her straight in the eye. Just as she had thought before, his were really clear, honest. It felt as if he were some kind of angel – one that could not tell lies, something pure and unsullied. It was as if, just by being in his presence, she too was able to become just a little more honest.

Shocked by his outburst, her voice came out small, "Okay."

Kougyoku leaned into him, his warmth, taking it all for herself. She felt him pause for a second, and just as she was about to move away, his hand came to rest on her back. An irreplaceable person. That was the existence she wanted to forge for Hakuryuu. She wondered if it was okay for her to rely on this person, as he traced reassuring circles on her skin with his fingers.

"I didn't think anyone would save me…" mumbled Kougyoku, her eyelids getting a little droopy.

He stopped in his ministrations, loss for words.

"…thank you."

Just like that, she fell asleep. His hand enveloping hers like a warm blanket.

oOo

The clouds had disappeared, now only the bright blue sky awaited them. He had put on his white shirt a while ago, in an effort to stop himself from getting sunburnt.

His cousin slept peacefully by his side, every time she inhaled, a small whistling noise was made. He found this quirk of hers cute. However, the only thing on his mind was how her long dark pink hair reminded him of someone else.

Although it was the wrong shade and length, and the girl herself was shorter, he couldn't keep himself from imagining that someone else next to him. Fantasizing was a better word.

It was wrong of him, but he just couldn't help it. The girl he longed for, strong, brave, noble, she wasn't that different to his cousin, minus the strong part. Yet, there were so many similarities between the two, perhaps it would be okay if he…

_Wrong, wrong, wrong. _Hakuryuu clenched his hand, the one that wasn't resting on her back. They were _cousins _for god's sake. Even if they weren't, to use another as a replacement, he would become a truly despicable person. Kougyoku was his cousin, family, she was self-conscious, a little unrealistic, timid at times, and naïve.

She was unlike his sister, who he had said was his ideal wife when he was younger, and shared only a few traits with his crush, now that he thought about it.

"Let's go home," he said softly, patting her on the arm gently.

Even though she was still unconscious, she shook her head. Breathing a sigh, he took one of her arms and tried bringing her to a standing position. It was difficult for him to get her to comply, every time she was even close to standing, she would slump against him unceremoniously. He couldn't bring himself to wake her up, not while she looked so peaceful, eyes closed, lips slightly open.

Eventually, he was forced to carry her home, however since he had to bring her bag home as well, the piggyback ride was the only option. He had slung the bag over her shoulder, taking care to secure it so that it would not slip off. Her arms were wound loosely around his neck, chest pressing up against his back. A soft whistling noise could be heard, from near his ear. _Cute, _he chuckled silently, taking care as to not wake her up.

She wasn't that heavy, of average weight, so it wasn't especially difficult to carry her. What did bother him was the way her small fingers tickled his neck. It was definitely on accident, he could tell – because there was no way shy little Kougyoku would ever dare to do something like that.

The implications of their current position suddenly dawned upon him. Her in her swimsuit, embracing his torso, he, dishevelled, holding both her legs.

It was probably best that no one saw them.

So Hakuryuu quickened his pace, while still making sure she didn't fall off his back.

* * *

**A/N once again, thank you for reading! And for all the lovely reviews! Constructive criticism would be much appreciated and I hope you look forward to the next chapter!**

**edit: guess who was the idiot who posted chapter two twice.**


	4. Covered in Anemones

**Ever Elusive**

_By elsiie_

**Genre: **Romance, Drama

**Rating: **T

**Summary:** The feeling that consumed her body and mind. It was probably something akin to…jealousy. Ryuu/Gyoku. AU.

**Characters: **Ren Hakuryuu, Ren Kougyoku

* * *

**Chapter Four ** – Covered in Anemones

* * *

For once, she didn't dream of nightmares.

Or at least she had thought.

She was a princess, sitting in the middle of a field of flowers. Her small hands was delicately threading colourful flowers together, forming a crown which she admired before discarding it, tossing it into the flower bed. Someone called out her name, a sweet yet masculine voice and she turned to face the man that crooned her name over and over.

He stood there, looking so beautiful, everything she wanted to be and wanted to love. Her wonderful king. _I love you so. _She couldn't, didn't, fight the feeling of want that washed over her.

"Sinbad-sama," Kougyoku breathed, hands outstretched, with the intention of falling into his arms.

His golden eyes seemed to soften and he brought her to his chest. Usually, she would have pushed away, blushing furiously, but she felt so comfortable and relaxed in his embrace that she just melted. Was it a dream? Everything felt so real – she could smell the flowers that surrounded them, smell his scent, feel his warm flesh – if it was a dream, she never wanted to wake up.

"I've always – always, always – loved you," she spoke into his chest, words muffled by his skin and clothes, but that was okay because she was sure he heard her.

His hold on her tightened but he didn't reply. Which was odd, so incredibly odd, for the Sinbad she knew and admired was an eloquent man. Kougyoku lifted her head from his chest, missing his warmness almost immediately, and looked up into his face.

Which was blank like a doll.

Horrified, she broke away violently, shoving him back, into the sea of blossoms. The petals flew into the air before raining upon the both of them. She hit the ground, sending sharp bouts of pain through her body. _What in the world…? _Her King sat up slowly, eyes devoid of any emotion and the pain that he should have felt from falling so abruptly. Kougyoku hurriedly got to her feet, and while not bothering to look back, darted away from him.

Her feet, encased in a pair of ruby slippers, sent flowers flying. She wasn't sure as to where she was headed, but at that moment, anywhere was better than with this Sinbad imposter. From behind her, she could hear him, walking slowly yet closing the distance between them at a steady pace. The princess spotted a building in front of her, looking ancient but stable and willed her legs to move faster.

His presence grew closer, she could almost smell him by now – the smell of the sea and faint scent of some exotic wine. While that scent usually gave her comfort, now, it gave her a sense of dread.

What made the situation so much worse was the fact that apart from his footsteps, she could hear nothing else. He did not call for her nor did he pant as they ran through the flower field. It was unnatural, weird, this _thing_ that was pursuing her. _Th – this is not the Sinbad-sama I know! _

It was so close – just within her grasp. Just a little bit more and she would be safe. Her feet sped up, her legs moved faster, all in an effort to save her.

Just as she was about to reach the building, her haven, she was pulled back violently by an unseen force. Was it Sinbad? Or someone else? It was painful, the grip on her hair that felt like someone was ripping out her veins. A flash of gold and blue was all she saw before everything went black and she fell into the abyss.

A nightmare disguised as a dream.

She had been tricked.

oOo

When she came to she realized that she was moving, but wasn't walking. Her body was pressed against another in a most indecent manner and she tried to pull away, quite abruptly. This earned a shocked yelp from the person carrying her as a pair of arms tried to hold onto her legs.

"Let go of me!" Kougyoku cried in distress, suddenly aware of how high her voice had gotten. Using her hands, she thumped furiously on the person's back, willing for herself to be released.

Her captor spoke then, or at least tried to, before she shrieked into his ear. Pink eyes went to her abductor's head that was covered in a mop of…dark blue hair? She stopped in mid-air, the cogs in her mind slowly turning. The boy tilted his head, revealing a slightly exhausted looking cousin and stepbrother. Suddenly, she felt a wave of shame wash over her and she shirked away from him.

"I – I'm sorry, I didn't mean to – "

He let out a small chuckle that lacked mirth and was tainted with the slight feeling of awkwardness, and bent down so that she could hop off his back. She carefully climbed down, clutching her beach bag close to her chest in an effort to conceal her body. There was a brief period of silence where the two stood across from each other while averting their eyes away.

"Well, should we get going?" suggested Hakuryuu, gesturing to the large white house that was just in view.

The pink haired girl looked up in slight confusion, as if she was suddenly remembering where she was, "Ah – yes."

She took a step in the direction of her home before staggering. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him automatically stretch his arms, in case she fell.

"Are you okay?" his concerned voice came from beside her and she nodded.

However, when she tried to walk once again, her foot gave out and she ended up stumbling. This time, he was able to catch her. Kougyoku moved her eyes upwards towards his face, embarrassed. That feeling quickly went away and was replaced by an immense amount of pain coming from her foot which she didn't realize was there before.

"My ankle…" she muttered, one hand holding onto his shirt, the other clutching her ankle.

Immediately, Hakuryuu understood, giving her a nod. "Do you want to get back on my back?"

The young lady frantically shook her head. There was no way in hell that she was going to climb back onto his back in such an indecent manner. Racking her brains for a better option, she finally came across a less improper one.

"Could you…" her cheeks burned a furious red that would have made even her brothers' hair look bland. "Carry me in your arms?"

She could see his eyes widen, which did little to cool her flushed cheeks. A noticeable blush too appeared on his face, a pretty pink tint, not that dissimilar to the colour of her eyes. It was probably not possible to be more mortified than the seventeen year old was at that moment.

"Are you sure?" He looked at her worriedly.

"Yeah," her voice came out small – so small that it made her sound like a little mouse.

Hakuryuu moved towards her and bent down a little, in what could possibly be the most awkward manner she had ever seen. Still, she brought her arms to his neck, which was warm and slightly wet, and held her hands together so that they were securely linked around it. She felt him lift her legs, and she prayed she wasn't that heavy, and shut her eyes tightly.

"You okay?" It was the second time he had asked that.

"I'm fine."

She wasn't really. She was so embarrassed she felt like she was going to die. The pain in her ankle was slowly escalating to the point where cutting it off would be less painful. Nevertheless, Kougyoku forced herself to swallow her pride and hang onto his shoulders. She buried her head in his neck, not having the confidence to look at his face or the energy to look anywhere else.

Yet, although the situation was oh so awkward and that she would never let a man touch her like that. She found herself not minding it that much as time went on. It was even…comfortable. To be embraced in such a gentle way. She realized that she was being treated like a glass doll. Cradled carefully. Something to be protected at all costs.

_Useless?_

In a way, disgustingly so.

_What good am I? _The daughter of a whore. Selfish. Haughty. Lonesome. Crybaby. Most of her traits were negative ones. _It would be better if I drowned back then, _her thoughts were no longer hers, fuelled only by repulsive feelings.

For the millionth time that day, small tears formed at her eyes. She quickly wiped at them with one hand but not before her cousin had noticed. It was difficult for her to stop them, they continued to fall, down her cheeks and onto her fair skin.

"D – don't look at me!" both of her hands moved to her face, covering it.

It was embarrassing, so, so embarrassing to burst into tears such a number of times in front of her younger cousin. Who she was supposed to set a good example for. However she knew, he was far better person than she was. In every single way.

"What's wrong?" She heard his voice ask tenderly. "Is the pain getting worse?"

Kougyoku shook her head, face still hidden behind her hands.

"I wish…I was…you," mumbled she, voice all muffled.

He made a noise of confusion, "Huh?"

_I can't bring Hakuryuu-chan into my problems. _So, she willed away the tears and rubbed its remnants until her face started to hurt.

"No, it's nothing." She smiled, trying to ignore the feeling of hopelessness that threatened to consume her.

He didn't look quite convinced.

oOo

"Do you think you can get up the stairs by yourself?"

Kougyoku cast a glance towards her ankle, which was now turning a horrific shade of purple. It was really looking quite swollen. The worst thing about it was that she had no idea when she had gotten it. When she was submerged underwater? When she was dragged out? It really was the strangest thing.

"Probably not," she replied, clearly irked. Not at him, but at herself and her dependency on another. To the point where it felt like she was being spoiled.

Like the helpful and courteous person he was, Hakuryuu carried her all the way up the stairs. She had never been carried before, perhaps once when she was very young, but she had long since forgotten. It felt odd, for she was much larger now, to be carried like a child…

was a tad degrading.

Was she perhaps complaining too much? He had done so much for her and she had been nothing but ungrateful.

They stopped outside of her room, her cousin looked down for consent and she nodded in response. He opened the door to her room, and she was pleased to remember that she had always kept it fairly neat. The windows were open, blowing cool sea air into the room. Her white bed was a little unkempt but not disastrously so. All in all, not a room she would be nervous to show.

Hakuryuu set her down on the soft bed and she settled into the pillows, suddenly feeling the strong urge to fall back to sleep. Although, the last time she did that, she was met with a terrible nightmare that would surely plague her mind for nights to come.

Maybe daylight was safer.

"I'll go get you an ice pack," Hakuryuu murmured. "Did you need anything else?"

"Some water?" Kougyoku felt bad for even asking that after he had done so much for her. If he had refused, she really wouldn't have minded.

"Sure," with that, he disappeared through the doorway, leaving the door open behind him.

She was left to her thoughts, which was at that moment, one big horrible mess. Her mixed feelings towards Hakuryuu, a combination of jealousy and fondness. Her feelings towards herself, mostly ones of self-loathing. And all the while, her mind kept flashing back to that bizarre nightmare.

Kougyoku hoped she wasn't unhinged.

He returned quite quickly, with a glass of pure water in one hand and something wrapped in a paper towel in the other. The beverage was handed to her which she accepted, pressing the cold glass to her lips. It was cool, refreshing, and helped clear her mind to a certain extent.

"I'm going to put this on your ankle," he told her, revealing what lay inside the paper towel, a zipped lock bag containing ice.

"Okay," she said back rather absentmindedly while chugging down the water.

The girl should have paid more attention for the sudden feeling of cold that graced her feet was enough to send her shrieking. Her glass threatened to escape her grip but she held on tightly.

"_Ouch!" _

Hakuryuu drew back immediately, his face contorted into one of horror. "Did it hurt?!"

She looked up at him, flustered. "No, no, my fault – it was just a bit…sudden."

Holding her hand out expectantly towards him, awaiting the ice pack. He looked confused for a second, but quickly caught on, handing it to her while simultaneously taking the glass. With shaking hands, she gingerly placed it on the area of soreness. It felt horrible, but was necessary in order to heal her swollen foot.

"It looks really bad."

A small sigh departed her mouth. "I really have no idea when I got it, but now it hurts so much. It's a good thing that I…" _didn't have to walk that far._

He looked at her, with such honest eyes. _Someone I admire?_ Shaking her head, she had been doing that a lot lately, she took the glass of water back from him.

"Thank you."

_But you didn't have to._

* * *

**A/N Thank you so much for reading! Unfortunately, I won't be able to update until my exam period is over (so around three weeks?). I'll try and work on a chapter in between but I can't guarantee anything. Still, I hope you have enjoyed this chapter and are looking forward for the next! **


	5. Sweet and Sour Dreams

**Ever Elusive**

_By elsiie_

**Genre: **Romance, Drama

**Rating: **T

**Summary:** The feeling that consumed her body and mind. It was probably something akin to…jealousy. Ryuu/Gyoku. AU.

**Characters: **Ren Hakuryuu, Ren Kougyoku

* * *

**Chapter Five ** – Sweet and Sour Dreams

* * *

"_Play Kougyoku, play for mommy."_

_Her fingers pressed gently down on the keys to produce a beautiful string of notes tied together. Her smile, full of innocence and all the other sweet things a child possessed, grew every time her skin met the ivory keys. The notes filled the room to the brim, swirled around her and her dearest life giver, coveting them from the world and its cruelty. A soft laugh came from her mother when the music increased in tempo, her small fingers moved more rapidly, trying to keep up with the music sheet. _

_The young girl opened her mouth, and a string of ineligible yet beautiful sounds emerged. Her soft humming, which she didn't let anyone but her mother hear, flowed out endlessly. It wasn't perfect, her voice, but if it made her mother happy then…_

"_Yes, yes! I love…" the voice she adored so dearly trailed off suddenly. The music and the voice accompanying it following shortly after._

_Kougyoku looked up curiously at her mother who had turned to the drawing room door. There was a look of utter hatred on her face which unnerved the young child. She had never seen her mother like that. Anxiously, she too turned to face the door. _

"_My my, was that Kougyoku-chan playing?" Sugary caramel hiding venom, was what the voice sounded like. _

_A woman with dark blue hair stood, her arms crossed, an insincere looking smile on her face. She was dressed in an elegant blue and crimson dress that reached the floor. The woman crossed the distance between them gracefully which caused Kougyoku's mother to impulsively pull her daughter away, in an attempt to hide her._

_This gesture didn't escape the woman's watchful gaze, she let out a shrill giggle, "Don't worry, I'm not here to harm _her._" _

_Her normally kind mother hissed venomously. "Koutoku-san will not allow you to – "_

"_Ah – that reminds me," the woman paused, a small smile starting to form at her lips. "It has been requested that you leave the household." _

_Silence. Not even a single breath could be heard. _

_Beside0 Kougyoku, she felt her mother stiffen. "By…who…?"_

_At this, the grin widened maliciously, like an animal who had caught their prey and was only now beginning to feast. "By my husband of course."_

"_You're wrong! He would never - !" Kougyoku tried to hold on to her mother's dress, tears starting to form, unaccustomed to this aggressive side of her. However, her mother had stood up and was now shaking, with anger or fear?_

"_Your bags have been packed and a car is waiting for you. I suggest you go peacefully before I call the servants in." The dark haired woman's hand went to her cheek. "And _that _would be truly pitiful." _

_Her mother's hand then went to hers, where it tightened around her much smaller one. "Come Kougyoku." _

_This was where she felt an immense feeling of fear. For her stepmother's lips curled into a smirk and her eyes crinkled. _

"_No. The girl stays here."_

_Suddenly, Kougyoku was grabbed forcefully. She went to scream but stopped when she realized it was her own mother who had handled her so roughly. A pair of arms were wrapped around her – like a cage. _

"_No! She is my daughter! This is the one thing you can't take!" The grip around her torso tautened painfully. "Kougyoku comes with me!" _

_The woman moved closer towards them, hand outstretched, that smile still on her face. Kougyoku shirked away, further into her mother's embrace. That was what she was supposed to after all. Yet, as her mother's hands got sharper and sharper and the pants being emitted started to sound strange, then, an unfamiliar feeling overcame the child. She began to panic. _

_Kougyoku started to cry._

"_See what you did?!" Her mother spat at the other woman, but her grip did not loosen._

"_Takeshi! Come and escort her out!" _

_She was being pulled out. Her arms hurt, and she felt that if she was pulled on any more, they would snap. By now tears were streaming down her face, cries from her mother and her echoed around the room, replacing the soft music that previously occupied its space. Another pair of hands, while still forceful, lacked the madness that the former ones possessed. She shut her eyes tightly, wishing for it all to go away, as she was being towed._

"_Kougyoku!" _

_No…no…_

"_Kougyoku!" _

_The girl made the mistake of looking up. There was her mother, being restrained by several others. Desperate, eyes wild, hair messy, her claw like hands reaching for her. She looked like a monster._

_Her words came out as a whimper, "Where is my mommy?"_

_And the beast's eyes widened. _

_It was the last time she would ever see her._

_When the ruckus disappeared, the woman looked down at her. She looked pleased. Extremely so. _

"_Remember this little Kougyoku. Are you listening?" The child nodded, whilst still sniffling. "That whore only gave birth to you so that she could stay in this house. Do you know what this means?"_

_This time, she didn't respond. Nevertheless, while wearing a gleeful smile, the woman answered._

"_It means that unlike my children, you are unloved."_

oOo

"We're back!" The familiar voice of her youngest, yet still older than her, brother rang loud and clear, stirring her from her daydream.

She sat daintily on the white couch, settled in between a pair of pillows while tending to her toenails with a bottle of nail polish. Across from her sat her cousin, head buried in a thick looking book that she would never read of her own accord. From the kitchen, the sounds of pots banging could be heard, courtesy of her other older cousin.

Kougyoku turned her head, while still keeping her hands steady, to the door. Her siblings were lugging their suitcases through the door, two of them looking dead on their feet.

"Welcome home," she called out, before returning her attention to her hands. "How was your trip?"

"Uneventful," her eldest brother replied. _That's Kouen-onii-sama for you. A weeklong road trip and he calls it boring. _"Did anything happen here?"

"Well – "

She was about to continue before she felt a presence behind her back. Before she could turn to see who it was, her vision was rudely blocked.

"Guess who?" A voice called out by her ear.

Her eye twitched from beneath skin. "Judal-chan get off."

"Not until you say who it is!"

"_Judal-chan._"

Her vision returned and she scowled. One of her few friends jumped over the couch and landed on the seat next to her. She watched in horror as the bottle of nail polish spilled over, pink spilling out across the white fabric. A gasp escaped her mouth and the whole house went silent. The dark haired boy spared the mess a look, frowning.

"Kougyoku you really shouldn't have left it there," he had the gall to say.

"_Judal-chan_," she nearly screamed, ready to rip out her hair.

"It wasn't my fault! You should've known better than to leave it _there!_"

"_You_ shouldn't be jumping over couches like a show jumping horse in the first place!"

Hakuryuu spoke from across the room, head still buried in that book. "Oi Kouen, I don't know if you've realized but you've brought in some trash."

From upstairs, a loud laugh was heard. Who it belonged to, Kougyoku couldn't quite tell, although she had a feeling that it belonged to Kouha.

"You bastard – "

She stared miserably at the couch. Judal was right, it _was _her fault. She should have known better than to leave an open bottle of nail polish on such an easily stained surface. Knowing her father, the piece of furniture was probably really expensive too. Hakuei entered the room, a smile on her face, looking as cheerful as always. Until she saw it. Kougyoku watched the colour drain from her face and if it was even possible, she felt worse.

"I'm so sorry, it was an accident!" Her apology and excuse sounded phony, which was _not _what she was aiming for.

Thankfully, Hakuei didn't notice. "Don't worry Kougyoku, I'm sure the housekeeper knows how to get rid of it. Although I do feel bad…maybe we could do something nice for her?"

"I'll do it! It was my fault after all," Kougyoku quickly said, not wanting to be indebted to another. Again. She got to her feet, pushing Judal rudely away in the process. "Something expensive from the shops will be fine, right?"

Her older cousin looked at her in an uneasy manner. However the look disappeared as quickly as it came. _What did I say? _

While returning to the kitchen, Hakuei replied with a soft, barely audible, "Yes, that would be fine."

The cryptic answer left Kougyoku confused. _What did I do wrong? _A snicker came from the couch, and Judal leapt up, giving the girl a wicked grin.

"That's so _you_, Kougyoku," and he was out, snickering the whole way.

Looking for answers, she turned to who could possibly the sanest in the house. The blue haired boy abandoned his book on the coffee table and left the armchair. He caught her looking and tilted his head inquiringly.

"Did you want me to come with you?"

For the first time that day, she smiled. It was a small one and filled with relief rather than happiness. Relief that she hadn't said something so insensitive that it had turned the whole household against her.

"Yes please."

He smiled back at her and that simple gesture alone gave her so much comfort.

oOo

Brilliant sun rays burst through the clouds. It was a nice day, not too hot, and not too cold, the ideal weather. Since it was relatively early and a Saturday, the shops, and the streets surrounding them, lacked human presence. Yet it wasn't uncomfortably quiet for there was still the soft murmur of voices that was being emitted from inside the shops.

"Ah, but I don't know what to get her…" Kougyoku walked up to one of the shop windows and peered in, letting out a sigh when she saw nothing but tacky souvenirs.

"Does she like sweet things?" Hakuryuu asked, pointing to the chocolatier down the streets.

The pink haired girl pursed her lips. "I did overhear her talking about wanting some chocolate truffles once? Is that enough though?"

He glanced at her, cerulean eyes softening ever so slightly. Gently, he murmured, "It's not the gift that matters. It's the fact that you gave it."

"Really?" She questioned incredulously.

Her cousin stretched his arms out in front of him. "Yep, it's the thought that counts after all. Although it would be nice to get her something she liked." He added as an afterthought.

So the pair entered the chocolatier. It was fairly empty, save for a couple that stood looking at a display shelf full of cupcakes. From behind the cash register, a woman in what seemed like her mid-twenties smiled warmly at them and waved. They returned her greetings, Kougyoku a little hesitantly.

"Is there something you're looking for?" The lady queried while making her way towards them, expertly side-stepping the many display tables.

"Have you got any chocolate truffles?" Hakuryuu was the one who asked – being the more approachable of the two.

"Yes! They've just been made, how many do you want?"

"Around…twenty?" Kougyoku spoke up sheepishly.

"Would you like them wrapped?"

"Yes please," they responded in unison, stared at each other, then looked away, a little flustered.

She gave them a polite bow, before entering a door by the cash register. Next to her, Kougyoku felt her companion move. He had turned his attention to the window, or rather, what lay beyond it. Curious, she joined him quietly, taking care not to disturb him. Across from them, on the other side of the road, was someone she knew very well.

A bright smile appeared on her face, "Alibaba-chan…!"

Hakuryuu was oddly silent. She was aware that they were relatively close to each other, her cousin and her friend. Yet, he didn't seem to be that happy to see the blond. Moving a hesitant hand, she placed it gently on his shoulder.

"Hakuryuu-chan, what's wrong?"

At that moment, through the window, she saw someone exit the shop Alibaba was standing in front of. She saw him grin, as if he was charmed by something. Or someone. Bright red hair, the colour of roses, a short, yet strong figure. This person she didn't know, she could tell was terribly dear to Alibaba. A sharp intake of breath.

"Who is that girl with Alibaba-chan?" She asked, a frown replacing the smile that was previously on her face.

As if he suddenly remembered she was here, he started. A slightly glassy look was apparent in his eyes. She knew this look. It was something that was all too familiar to her.

It was the look she saved for Sinbad.

* * *

**A/N Thank you so much for reading! Please be excited for the next chapter! Constructive criticism is appreciated! **


	6. Summer Rain

**Ever Elusive**

_By elsiie_

**Genre: **Romance, Drama

**Rating: **T

**Summary:** The feeling that consumed her body and mind. It was probably something akin to…jealousy. Ryuu/Gyoku. AU.

**Characters: **Ren Hakuryuu, Ren Kougyoku

* * *

**Chapter Six – **Summer Rain

* * *

"A friend," and he said so in such a nonchalant manner that she almost believed him.

_Is that all she is? _Because there was no way he saw that girl as merely a friend. He looked at her in such a way, with such tenderness, that it was as if she was the one thing in the world that mattered. A part of Kougyoku couldn't help but feel envious of this girl she didn't know, who had such strong feelings directed towards her. _Is that really all she is to you? _

"What?"

Kougyoku clasped her hands to her mouth in shock. _I said that out loud?! _"N – no, it's nothing."

A confused face met hers. Before he could press further, the shop assistant returned, a box covered in pink wrapping paper and ribbons hidden by her hands. It crinkled in her hands slightly as she moved.

"Here you go, one box of twenty chocolate truffles," the dark haired boy was handed the box, after shooting a brief hesitant glance towards his cousin who nodded, he finally accepted the gift. "It comes to a total of…"

All the while, Kouguoku kept watching him from the corner of her eye. His stare never left the pair that lingered on the other side of the road. It was clear to anyone who observed him for at least two seconds that he was entranced. The sudden unexpected urge to, almost _violently_, tear him away overcame her.

A hand reached out, a handful of notes clutched gingerly between thin fingers. "Please keep the change." Hurriedly spoken – though she tried to not be impolite. The shop assistant raised an eyebrow but nevertheless took the payment.

Turning back to her cousin, she became exasperated. "Hakuryuu-chan, let's go."

A blink. And he looked like he had come crashing back down to earth. Blue eyes moved to find the source of the disturbance, landed on her, and widened. As if he had forgotten she was even there. Why _he_ was even there.

She didn't even try to stop the hiss that came from her mouth. The incredulous stare that he presented to her made her feel significant again. Grabbing him by the hand, she almost _dragged_ him out the shop. She was still so very aware of how badly he wanted to see them, a part of her did too, after all she hadn't talked to her friend in such a long time. All it took was a friendly wave and a cheerful 'Alibaba-chan!', and they were making their way, crossing the road, jogging up to them.

"Hakuryuu, Kougyoku, what are you guys doing here?" He looked pleased to see them, and Kougyoku didn't expect anything less.

"We were just buying a gift," the pink haired girl didn't feel the need to elaborate. "What are _you _doing here?"

"Oh just hanging out with – that's right, you haven't met her yet," Alibaba placed a lazy hand on the girl's shoulder. "This is my friend, Morgiana."

"Nice to meet you," the small girl said politely. Upon closer inspection, the female seemed to be a lot younger than she originally thought, her mature way of carrying herself had given the impression of a young woman rather than a teenager. She also had unique eyes, slightly slanted, a little cool.

"Ah, nice to meet you too. I'm Ren Kougyoku, Hakuryuu-chan's stepsister."

"Cousin," corrected the dark haired boy. She shot him a curious glance. "So what have you guys been doing? Shopping as well?"

The girl they called Morgiana nodded, "It's Sinbad-san's birthday next week so we were also looking for a present."

Kougyoku's eyes widened in realization, _How could I forget? I wrote it down in my diary and everything. _

"Have you found anything?" The seventeen year old gave Hakuryuu a glance out of the corner of her eye, perplexed that he had remembered but she didn't.

At this, Alibaba held up a paper bag that had an irregular shape to it. "Yep, a book. Something we thought he'd like."

_A conservative gift for the world's least conservative man. _Still, the couple looked as if they knew him welland was sure that he would appreciate the gift. She found herself feeling a little envious of their close relationship with the man she admired.

Her eyes narrowed.

_Admiration? Before, wasn't it…love?_

None of them seemed to have noticed the muddled state of her mind. They continued to converse in a lively manner, the awkwardness long gone, as if they had fallen into a routine. A routine in which she was unfamiliar with.

Uncertain with the conversation topic, _something about a foreign island_, she decided to stay silent. Her attention was drawn to the one other girl in the party. Younger than she was, with calm pink eyes and matching rosy hair that reminded Kougyoku of her own. Despite the similarities in appearance, this girl, _Morgiana_, was vastly different to her.

For one thing, she was deeply in love with Alibaba.

Which was obviously clear to everyone, _but _him.

The pink tinge to her fair cheeks, the way her voice rose ever so slightly when she spoke to him, and their general closeness, deliberately on her part, unintentionally on his. Judging from her cousin's reaction, she wasn't the only one who noticed the girl's crush on her friend. As the conversation carried on, he gradually became quite stiff, his face trying hard not to show his irritation. Never before had Kougyoku seen him so irrational and agitated.

To make the usually calm Hakuryuu act in such a way, that girl really was something.

The feeling of forgetting something came over her without warning. Kougyoku's hands went to her wallet, all pink with blue frills and opened it. She felt the urge to sigh deeply in disappointment at herself when she realized what she was missing.

"Something wrong Kougyoku?" Alibaba asked concernedly, resulting in all attention being directed towards her.

"Oh, um," stuffing her wallet back into her pocket. "I think – I think I accidently gave my credit card to the cashier."

She had been in such a rush, but now her fingers recalled the feeling of something slightly smooth and hard in between all the papery notes. _Ugh, I messed up. The lady's going to think I'm an idiot. _Thankfully, probably to spare her feelings, the group merely offered her sympathetic looks.

"I'll just head back and ask for it," she let out an embarrassed laugh and began making her way back to the chocolatier.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Hakuryuu called out to her, just as Kougyoku was about to plant her foot on the road.

"Hm?" Turning her head to reply to him, the pink haired girl shook her head. "No, it's fine, don't worr – "

Then there was a loud honking noise. A looming shadow. Pair of bright lights.

_Oh no. _

She was pulled back, roughly by the arm, but she didn't care. She heard agitated blares from the truck before it eventually passed them. Even without turning around, she knew who it was. His face, eyes and dark hair wild, small droplets of sweat running down his forehead, mouth opening and closing frantically.

"That was - my fault," he gasped. "I shouldn't have called out – and – made you turn - "

"Thank you!"

Adrenaline running through her veins, she felt strangely awake. Like coffee had been injected into her. She was aware how her shoulders and chest were heaving up and down and how her eyes were large and wide. _I really don't want to hear you apologize anymore! _ He stared at her, while still holding onto her arm, as if she had grown a second head.

"What?" He leant forward slightly, like he was trying to diagnose her. "Are you alright?"

"I said, thank you!" Her face was heating up, ever so slightly. "Thank you for saving me!" _Again._

There was a few more seconds of confused staring, before he started to laugh. He let go of her arm, still shaking with laughter.

"What…the…heck?" he managed to gasp out between chuckles.

She found herself joining, giggles escaping her mouth, not sure if it was the near death experience affecting her or Hakuryuu's contagious laughter. Footsteps, loud ones that slammed against the footpath became louder and louder the closer the owners got to Kougyoku.

"Kougyoku! I saw the truck come out of nowhere and…" Alibaba's voice, while at first tense, gradually deteriorated into bewilderment.

"Is she okay…?" The smaller girl's voice came out anxiously which only seemed to escalate as she observed them, who were almost in hysterics.

There was a sigh of relief – Alibaba, unbeknownst to his friends who continued to giggle without a care in the world, gazed at them with such fondness that the redhead by his side couldn't help but smile.

oOo

Her friend and his companion waved brightly at her as they boarded the bus. She returned her gestures with one of her own, a smile on her lips. Alibaba gave her one last wave, out the window, before he was pulled down unceremoniously by his companion. Kougyoku dropped her hand slowly, the familiar feeling of loneliness creeping up on her like a preying beast.

"Should we go?"

Hakuryuu tilted his head, cheeks still a little flushed from their fit of giggles earlier. _Ah, that's right, I'm not alone. _

She nodded, her smile resurfacing. "Yes."

The sun was high up in the sky, surrounded by gentle clouds, and the streets had become quite populated. A small child, he only went up to her thigh, ran by her, while being chased by his friends. She watched him disappear into the crowd of people, bodies obscuring him like the clouds hiding the sun.

Kougyoku directed her attention to Hakuryuu, who was walking slightly ahead her, box of truffles clutched in one hand, the other free. She was reminded of how he had pulled her just out of death's embrace, with such a force that it shocked her.

_Hey…Hakuryuu-chan. What do you think of me?_

Of course he didn't answer. She hadn't expected him to respond to her _thoughts. _Still, she wanted him to, she wanted to know how he felt towards her but she lacked the courage to ask him. Her eyes moved downwards, passing by his empty hand.

And she was surprised by the strong desire to entwine her fingers with his.

"Eh…?" _Wait, what? _

He looked over at her, also similarly confused. "What's wrong?"

"Ah!" The rose haired girl waved her hands in front of her face wildly, "No – uh, it's nothing."

It was most definitely _not _nothing. After he turned around once again, her hand went to her chest, trying to slow her rapid heartbeat.

_What is this? _

oOo

It came pouring down suddenly, the rain. One minute she could feel the sun's rays on her shoulders, and the next – she was soaked. She felt Hakuryuu curse under his breath and she felt like doing the same.

"It's too heavy – we need to find some shelter," he told her, though his voice was significantly muffled by the rain.

She nodded, holding her hands above her head in an attempt to make a makeshift umbrella. They started to run down the street, frustrated shouts coming from the once pleasant people echoing around them. Ahead of her, Kougyoku spotted a park, strangely enough, no one had decided to hide under the many large trees that lived there.

"What about there?" She suggested loudly, pointing in front of them.

He squinted, trying to see through the rain. "The trees? Yeah, that'll do!"

And that was how she ended up spending her afternoon, soaking wet, with her cousin under a large oak tree. Her hair was plastered to her skin unattractively, and she was also pretty sure that some had gotten into her shoes.

"I can't believe this," she muttered under breath, doing her best to wring out the bottom of her shirt.

The dark haired boy looked at her sympathetically. "Hopefully it'll let up a bit soon."

That was when she noticed that the box of truffles that now rested carefully within his hands was still fairly dry. Unlike her, who used her hands to try and shield her hair from the onslaught of heavy rain – her cousin had sacrificed his for the gift. He hadn't even tried to use it to shelter him from the shower.

"Hakuryuu-chan, you - " she started, not sure if she wanted to thank or reprimand him.

He lifted his head, covered by a mop of damp hair that fell into his eyes, droplets of water running down the side of his face and she felt her heart skip a beat. Which she found so strange because it wasn't dissimilar to how she felt when she was with Sinbad. He waited for her to continue, not interrupting because he was courteous and gentle and was everything she wanted to be.

Instead, he stood up, peeling of his jacket which did not appear to be completely soaked through and draped it around her shoulders. Stepping back, he smiled so kindly that she felt that at that moment she could just melt.

"Now you won't get sick."

He hadn't even finished his sentence before she hugged him, all dripping wet, clinging to the only warmth she knew.

* * *

**A/N I'm so sorry for how late this chapter is – I don't even have a good reason other than really bad writer's block. As usual, thank you for reading this chapter! **


	7. Honeyed Blossoms

**Ever Elusive**

_By elsiie_

**Genre: **Romance, Drama

**Rating: **T

**Summary:** The feeling that consumed her body and mind. It was probably something akin to…jealousy. Ryuu/Gyoku. AU. Rencest.

**Characters: **Ren Hakuryuu, Ren Kougyoku

* * *

**Chapter Seven ** – Honeyed Blossoms

* * *

Immediately, she felt him stiffen. He went completely rigid, as if he had been turned into a statue. Her impulsive actions had shocked even herself, but she couldn't bear to break away.

"J – Just let me stay like this for a few minutes," Kougyoku pleaded desperately, burying her head deeper into his chest. Letting his body warmth envelope her being.

She really didn't expect him to return her embrace, but he did, although with great hesitance. His hands – the part of his body that seemed to be the most warm rested gently on her back. She went with him as he leaned back against the tree, his hold on her, her hold on him, never releasing. In the back of her mind, she wondered if it was alright for her to be held so gently by him. But she couldn't fight it – the urge to feel his warmth, the urge to be comforted by one of the only people who knew she existed.

_What am I to you?_

The sound of the pouring rain surrounding them did little to slow the rapid beating of her heart.

_What are you to me?_

A sudden flash of lightning. She winced but relaxed slightly when he began trace comforting circles on her back.

"Don't worry, I'm sure it'll be over soon," his soothing voice murmured to her.

Kougyoku moved her head back a little, pink eyes searching for her cousin's familiar face. She realized that he had been watching her, as she laid in his arms and she couldn't help but wonder why. His hand, fair and slender, went to her face and she didn't flinch away, instead watching with heavily lidded eyes. She felt his fingers wipe away droplets of water that trickled down her cheek.

Just as she thought he was going to drop his hand, his eyes became slightly unfocused, as if he was daydreaming, and he moved his fingers to her lips.

Her rosette tinted eyes widened, but she didn't dare move. Caught, entranced, by him.

oOo

She looked so endearing in that moment that he couldn't help but trace her soft skin with his fingers – still wet from the water droplets he had just wiped off her.

There was an air of compliancy, like she was clay in his hands, as she stared up at him from underneath those long lashes. Free for him to meld and shape as he wished. Then, suddenly, as if she had suddenly remembered something important, her eyes narrowed and her eyebrows knotted together in irritation.

Those supple, soft looking lips of hers parted as the small hands on his chest that belonged to her began to tremble.

"Do you love her?" Her voice came out as a whisper, difficult to her over the pouring rain.

He didn't need to ask to know who she was talking about. _Am I that transparent? _He wanted to deny the fact (wasn't sure why he felt like he had to) – but she wouldn't believe him for even a second.

"Yes."

She gave him a grimace, "Thought so."

"And do you love Sinbad?" He asked her in return, partly because he was curious and partly because he wanted to change the topic, turning his face slightly away from her.

There is no answer, and he thought that it was slightly unfair of her to not give him a reply. After he had answered so honestly. It is when she started to shake in his arms that he realized that she was crying and physically unable to reply. Her hands had moved from his chest to her face, trying to hide her current state from him – it was a futile effort.

"I'm sorry – I – I," she let out a sob.

"Kougyoku," he said softly, clasping her once again to him. Her hiccups echoed through him like an earthquake and in return he held her tighter.

She refused to look at him – _Just what did Sinbad do? _– his left hand went to her long rosy hair where he caressed her head with all the gentleness he could muster, murmuring her name over and over.

"What do you want me to do?" Because he didn't think she wanted to hear him apologize.

At this, she finally shows her face, not after wiping away her tears with the sleeve of his jacket. He doesn't mind. Her eyes, tinged red, looked so painful, as soon as he saw them he felt as if her despair had been his fault. Still, he found her crying face not unappealing.

"Comfort me," her whisper, sounded so forlorn. Was it just him, or did she seem lost?

Nevertheless, he obeyed, leaning forward to place a kiss on her forehead. He rocked her back and forth until her sobs subsided and the rain began to let up. Their current situation, it was very much like a man comforting his lover. What was surprising to Hakuryuu was that this level of intimacy felt so natural. Like he was at home. A home he had been trying so hard to find – a home that wasn't with his mother and stepfather but rather…

She felt around for his hands, almost desperately. He covered them, all small and delicate, in his much larger ones. Then, he did something he would never do under normal circumstances. Watching her face carefully for any sign of distress, he brought her hands up to his lips, and placed chaste kisses on her knuckles. He wasn't sure where this newfound courage came from, perhaps from her, but he was grateful for it. _This is purely platonic. _

Kougyoku flushed, made a small sound, when his lips pressed against her flesh and he relished in her response. This time, it was she who whispered his name, softly, with restrained longing that even he could recognize. The smell of her hair, rain mixed with floral blossoms, her perfume? The softness of her skin, like touching clouds, he imagined. The way her large rose painted eyes gazed dreamily at him, with a sweetness that he didn't usually see.

_What are you to me?_

Then, a long lost memory – sharp but hazy flashed across his mind.

_A small girl, looking lost and forgotten stood at the corner of the room, far, far away from the rest of her family. If it wasn't for her deep pink hair, he wouldn't have thought that she was even related to them. The large clan full of future leaders that held so much of the world's wealth and power in their tiny fists._

"_That's your cousin, and new sister, Hakuryuu." Hakuei whispered to him from his side. "Ren Kougyoku."_

He dropped her hands unexpectedly, causing her to glance up in surprise.

"Hakuryuu-chan?"

He straightened his back, unaware that he had been cowering over her, while pushing her gently off him. Bringing the hand that had held hers with such care to his cheek, he averted his gaze elsewhere. Anywhere.

"Sorry…that was…strange," his words came out slightly weak and he hoped she didn't notice. It wasn't right of him to do such a thing – he had no right to do such a thing, for his heart was held by someone else and so was hers.

Kougyoku too began to look away, placing a hand on her flushed cheek. "N - no it's fine. I didn't…"

_I didn't what? _He waited for her continue, but all his cousin did was give him a shake of her head. Instead, her attention went to the rain, or rather, the absence of it. It was gradually lessening, the rain that fell from the stormy charcoal clouds, and they could almost feel the sun's rays on them once again.

"It's lightened up…"

Glancing at her from the corner of his eye, he saw her gazing up towards the now virtually clear sky. And he found himself wishing that the rain had lasted a little longer.

It was then when he realized that she made him forget. Someone he didn't think he ever would, even if it was only temporarily, _still. _

Her cheeks were still a deep red, and she gave him a shy sidelong glance before smiling warmly.

"Let's go, before the rain starts up again."

He nodded at her, picking the box of truffles up from where it lay, gingerly perched on a low tree branch, relieved when it turned out to be still be fairly dry. It would have been terrible if it had been ruined, after everything they had done.

oOo

It was the day right after that that Kougyoku decided to give her apology along with the box of truffles to the housekeeper. She sought her out just as she was about to leave for the day – the pink haired girl had tried multiple times prior but just _couldn't _– as the housekeeper was about the slip on her shoes. She looked incredibly surprised to be receiving such an expensive looking gift from the usually snobbish, although she didn't mean to be, girl. The weathered skin around her eyes crinkled and she smiled softly, receiving the gift with such grace that impressed the pink haired girl.

"You really didn't have to, Miss Kougyoku," though she held the gift delicately between her lined fingers, cradling against the warmth of the heated room.

"It was no trouble at all," a rare soft glance from the inheritress replied, a little aloofly, but her insides felt warm and fuzzy. "Hakuryuu-chan helped me choose it yesterday."

_And then…_Her face, she was sure, went all red. That rain soaked memory from yesterday even _now _caused her to become so flustered. It had been difficult to even sit across from the dark haired boy at meals, and she hoped none of her brothers, or even worse, _Judal _noticed their awkwardness. _I – it's not as if we _kissed _or anything, just…_His lips on her knuckles, moving gently against her skin with such kindness that she felt as if at that moment she was the happiest person in the world.

So when he moved away, she felt like it was her fault. Was she undesirable? Not what he wanted? At the time she had hidden her dejection well, but now it threatened to overflow. She didn't know what she wanted – but at that time, she just wanted him to hold her.

_But isn't it wrong? _A thought that had started to infect her mind since the day before. They were cousins after all, it wouldn't be quite right for her to,

_to what?_

What did she want to be to him? Did he even want to be something to her? _But…that girl…_ She obviously still occupied his mind. That lone thought made her feel bitter and she felt jealousy rear its ugly head.

_But he's not yours._

It was true, but he wasn't _hers _either. That foreign thought unnerved her. _I don't even think of Hakuryuu-chan like that. I don't. Really. _Then how would she explain the excitement that pulsed through her body when he kissed her fingers. Or the way goose bumps rose on her arms when he carried her along the beach.

_Okay, maybe I – _

Unbeknownst to her, whilst she was having her inner dilemma, the housekeeper furrowed her eyebrows, feeling like something was not quite right.

"Yesterday? I thought he had a violin lesson all day yesterday?" The woman appeared to be puzzled, as if something didn't fit together at all.

Kougyoku froze. _What? _

The housekeeper brought her weathered hands together at her troubled face, "Perhaps I was mistaken, my mind has been pretty muddled up lately." She let out a chuckle.

Although Kougyoku smiled back, she felt the seeds of doubt become planted in her mind. She wasn't sure why her cousin had decided to skip out on his lesson, especially after she had seen him so obviously in love with playing the instrument that day. If she were him, possessing such amazing musical talent, she would treasure every bit of time she had with her piano. And it didn't seem like something he would do either – not Hakuryuu.

_Maybe I'll ask him later. _

But in the end, the thought slipped from her mind like air and she forgot.

* * *

**A/N Thank you for checking out this story, sticking with it and writing reviews! I really appreciate each and every one of them! I'm not really sure how I'll conclude the story, or even when I'll conclude it, I don't want to rush it so perhaps this fic will become really long. But I don't want to draw it out either. Anyway, please look forward to the next chapter. And as always, constructive criticism is incredibly appreciated!**


	8. Dazed and Afraid

**Ever Elusive**

_By elsiie_

**Genre: **Romance, Drama

**Rating: **T

**Summary:** The feeling that consumed her body and mind. It was probably something akin to…jealousy. Ryuu/Gyoku. AU.

**Characters: **Ren Hakuryuu, Ren Kougyoku

* * *

**Chapter Eight – **Dazed and Afraid

* * *

It was loud. Crowded. People she didn't know surrounded her like looming trees. Music blasted from shiny black speakers as people moved rhythmically, as if hypnotized. She brought the paper cup to her lips, the punch left an unpleasant taste in her mouth, but she was parched. Over the top of a dozen heads, she could see the birthday boy. His distinctive purple hair was illuminated by the many coloured lights, a large smile on his face, his white teeth seemed so sharp, even from that distance.

She noticed the hand of a familiar boy on his shoulder.

Crushing the cup in her grip, she threw the disgusting beverage in the bin beside her. As she turned away, a voice called, barely audible over the music.

"Kougyoku!" Her elder cousin moved towards her, her face contorted into an expression of pure concern.

Hakuei pushed through the crowd, apologizing briefly, her hair was tangled, dress bunched up in places. The older woman put her hands around Kougyoku's own. She noticed the smell of alcohol on her breath, though she managed to somehow look sober.

"Have you seen Hakuryuu?" She had to yell to be heard over the deafening beats that blasted from one side of the room to the other. "Some idiot laced the punch with alcohol and - "

_Wait, what? _Kougyoku froze. _No, it's fine. I only had one cup. I don't even feel any different. _

"...I haven't seen him around at all!"

She brushed her dark hair back from her face, eyebrows furrowed in frustration. Behind her, Kouen stood still, scanning every inch of the room. His own face was composed as always, apart from a small crease on his forehead. To even have her brother concerned…

The rose haired girl sighed, "I'll go look for him."

Hakuei breathed a sigh of relief, releasing her hands before suddenly capturing her in a tight hug. She stiffened, unsure of what to do. Thankfully, she broke away before long, a grateful smile on her face. Kougyoku watched her cousin return to her brother, before the two of them disappeared into the sea of people. Part of her could scarcely recall why she had despised the woman so much.

She doubted that Hakuryuu was in any danger – he was much more mature than she was, and didn't seem like the type to succumb to alcohol. But she had promised to try, and she couldn't deny the uneasiness that rushed through her. As she struggled through the crowd, avoiding hands and legs, she noticed a familiar blond boy.

"Alibaba-ku-"

She couldn't interrupt him. He looked so comfortable, relaxing on a plush velvet couch, one arm slung lazily around a small girl. With scarlet hair and scarlet eyes. They exchanged loving glances while laughing, so contentedly. Then she saw him. On the staircase behind the lovebirds. Glowing lights hypnotically illuminating his face. An expressionless face that scared her. He was shrouded in an unnatural, frightening darkness.

Then, he disappeared up the flight of stairs.

She pushed through the throng of people, murmuring apologies that she didn't quite mean, while her heart beat loudly in her ears. Alibaba's voice called out to her, but she didn't turn around. The corridor was empty save for a few people leaning over the railing, watching the crowd below. She saw his dark hair disappear around a corner, and quickly began to follow him. The party seemed so far away as she walked down the corridor, as if it was taking place in another world. She still heard it, though it was thankfully muted, allowing her to think clearly. _His face – he was hurt – he liked her so very much didn't he – _

The girl was met with an empty corridor. White walls stared at her blankly _'what are you doing here? The party is downstairs'_. She ignored them, and clenched her fists tightly.

Suddenly, she was pulled back by a strong arm. The door shut in front of her.

oOo

"Where was she going in such a hurry?" The boy by her side wondered out loud. Morgiana shrugged, she had only just met the youngest Ren the other day – but she had never seen her so frenzied. Actually, she had never seen a member of that family with such an expression.

Aladdin chewed lazily, a bag of almost empty chips nestled in his lap, "Maybe she needed to pee."

A frown appeared on Alibaba's face, as if he wasn't quite convinced. He had always cared for his friends, even if he denied it, it was one of the things she liked best about him.

"Speaking of Rens…" the blue haired boy popped another chip into his mouth. "Where did Hakuryuu go?"

Morgiana looked around her; she could have sworn that she saw him just a few moments ago. Then, someone plunked down on the seat beside her. She caught a glimpse of long plaited dark hair, and a scowl immediately emerged on her face. Her friends had similar reactions to their new companion.

"What do you think of the party?" Judal grinned, placing his arms behind his head and his legs on the glass coffee table in front of them.

Alibaba muttered under his breath, "Better when you weren't here."

"You _hurt _me Alibaba," a mocking laugh. "Been doing a lot of that tonight huh?"

Her boyfriend's eyes narrowed. "What the hell are you talking about?"

His crimson eyes glittered, made all the more unnerving by the multi-coloured lights that flashed across his face. He glanced at her and she stiffened. A pale hand came towards her, lifting her chin up roughly. Alibaba and Aladdin shouted angrily, the blond boy made a move, to push him away –

"A pretty face, is this the type that he likes?" His eyes bore into her, she felt exposed, as if someone had cut from her breast to her sternum and put her organs on display.

His hand was slapped away, not by Alibaba, but by her. She glared at him.

"Don't touch me so casually," venom laced her voice.

He snickered and stood up from the couch. "Don't worry, you're not my type."

"…what did he mean by that?" Alibaba grumbled, his arm oh so protective around her naked shoulders. "I don't just like you because you're pretty."

She closed her eyes, leaning against him. He was safe. Known. Home. But Judal's words echoed through her head. The look in his eyes, as if she was a cut of lamb.

_I don't think he was talking about you._

oOo

Familiar blue eyes stared at her.

"H-hakuryuu-chan!" She breathed a sigh of relief. "I was starting to get a little worried-"

She broke off, something was strange. His face was so blank, eyes unfocused, as if he was somewhere else. She noticed a strong scent on his breath, it hurt her nose. Then he leaned down towards her.

His lips clashed with hers, though he had looked almost lethargic, they were shockingly rough. His fingers intertwined in her long hair, and she felt him push her against the door. Hakuryuu nibbled on her lips, causing her to release a muffled moan. He pulled her further towards him, crushing her body against his, as if nothing was enough, as if nothing would ever be enough. She was surprised, almost unresponsive as he kissed her, arms holding her tightly like a cage.

He broke away, panting heavily.

The room was dark, the only source of light being from the natural moon, its rays streaming in through the open window. His face was dark; she could barely make out his features.

"H-hakuryuu-chan…"

She was suddenly so scared. She didn't recognize this person in front of her. This stranger with strong arms and sharp teeth.

But she felt that if she left him alone, he would break.

His lips met hers yet again, though this time, they were slightly gentler. His beautiful long fingers, that had played the violin so gracefully, trailed down her neck, her shoulders… She held him closer to her, feeling his chest through the thin fabric of his shirt. He let out a groan that was so _lewd, _her cheeks blushed a furious red. She didn't know he was capable of making such sounds.

Hakuryuu's lips moved from hers to her shoulder. He placed deep kisses on every inch of her skin, as she struggled to stay silent. She felt her dress loosen, and the sharp realization that her zipper was becoming undone forced her to push him away.

"I-I," she breathed heavily whilst holding her dress securely around her body. "This is – "

"I'm not drunk," he interrupted her.

"What?"

He stepped closer to her. "I said I'm perfectly sober."

She instinctively backed away, causing her to hit her back against the wooden door. He placed a hand on the door, and she finally saw his eyes. They were so dark, as if she was looking into the abyss. He leaned towards her again, except this time; she moved her head to the side, resulting in him softly kissing her cheek.

"Don't you like me, Kougyoku?" He murmured.

She shook her head wildly.

His lips moved to her ear, where they nibbled and bit. She let out a small cry.

Hakuryuu laughed, "You're not being honest."

His skilful hands slid up her thighs. Sliding across skin as if it were silk.

"_Tell me."_

His touch, his scent, his voice, his heat – she wanted all of it.

oOo

It was wrong, so so wrong.

Yet as he pushed her into the pillows (who did this bed belong to?), she couldn't help but feel disgustingly happy. He straddled her, warmth enveloping her like a blanket. As he bent down to kiss her, she couldn't deny the smell of alcohol. But she could try. She clutched at his back, tears rolling down her cheeks. _If this is a sin, then why does it feel so good? _

He looked down at her, and suddenly she felt embarrassed. She covered her body with her hands, though she was still wearing her dress, she still felt so shameful. Hakuryuu held her wrists away from her body, his gaze never leaving hers.

_God help me._

His fingers went to his shirt, popping a button out from its hole. In a few short moments, he had finished, casting away his shirt, discarding the piece of clothing on the floor. His chest was bare, scars from his childhood running from one side to the other, decorating his skin almost like ribbons. She couldn't stop her eyes from widening – she had never truly seen his marks, only heard of them from her brothers and older cousin.

She wished she could take them away for him. Make his scars disappear into nothing.

"We can't go back," she whispered into the darkness.

Silence.

"It hurts."

He bent his head, dark locks falling. She lifted her hand to his cheek.

"I can't bear to see them together."

"…I know."

oOo

Her brother was waiting beside his black car. Hakuei stood by his side, holding her hands together tightly. Her face lit up when they came into view, and she immediately ran to them, enveloping her brother in an embrace. He was shocked for a moment, but then his eyes softened and he patted her back.

"I'm sorry for making you worried," he murmured.

She broke away, from up close, her eyes seemed almost red. His sister ruffled his hair affectionately.

"I'm just glad you're okay."

Hakuei turned to Kougyoku, giving her a grateful smile, before too ruffling her hair.

"Thank you so much Kougyoku," her kind voice matched her appearance so well, the pink haired girl thought to herself.

She gave her a small smile. It wasn't bad.

"Hurry up!" Kouha called from the car, waving what seemed like a credit card. Definitely not his own. Kouen thumped on the window in an attempt to quiet him.

They sat beside each other, Judal on her other side.

Not a single word was exchanged between the two.

* * *

**A/N Hello! I'm back (sort of). Updates will be coming quite irregularly due to school commitments and such. Still! I will try my hardest to write. Once again, feedback is highly appreciated, and thank you very much for sticking with this dumb story!**


	9. Withered Flowers

**Ever Elusive**

_By elsiie_

**Genre: **Romance, Drama

**Rating: **T

**Summary:** The feeling that consumed her body and mind. It was probably something akin to…jealousy. Ryuu/Gyoku. AU.

**Characters: **Ren Hakuryuu, Ren Kougyoku

* * *

**Chapter Nine – **Withered Flowers

* * *

Ever since that night, she had refused to look at him. She would make an excuse and leave the room as soon as he entered, hiding her face from his never straying gaze. It continued for days. Then the days turned into weeks. He looked out through the glass window, watching the rain fall over the stormy waves, disappearing into a troubled dark blue. Of course, he understood her shock, and even disgust. Such a horrible thing he had done to her, he was the worst.

Yet as his red and raw fingers gripped the bow, he couldn't help but let a feeling of yearning wash over his body. He missed her shyness. Her self-doubt. Her scent. Her inability to hate, as much as she tried.

He smiled bitterly.

And he missed how she had placed him so highly on a pedestal.

Hakuryuu let the instrument drop to the floor, watching as it broke into pieces.

oOo

She couldn't bear to face him. Her face would turn a furious shade of red and her hands would start trembling the moment he came near. The memories from that night plagued her mind, reduced her to an incoherent mess of a woman and she hated herself for it. She was weak. So, so, weak.

But a larger part of her was furious.

The girl felt used. He sought comfort in her, a warm hand to heal his troubled heart, even if the hand was unwilling. She liked the feeling of his hand on her thigh, and lips on hers. She just wished that it was her who he saw in his mind. Kougyoku rolled over on her bed, clutching her pillow tightly to her chest, burying her face in its softness like a coward. She could hear the soft pitter-patter of the rain on the roof. The dark and stormy sea. And a soft, gentle, melody.

Tears welled up in her eyes, and she brought a hasty hand to wipe it away.

The sound of the rain was deafening.

oOo

Kougyoku pushed open the door, the bell ringing softly in response. It was warm inside the café, a fireplace flickering in the corner, offering much needed heat. Her eyes scanned the fairly empty shop, not many were brave enough to trek through this heavy rain just to get to a café, but she couldn't bear being in the house any longer.

A familiar head of golden hair caught her eye. He turned almost immediately, as if he had noticed her gaze on the back of his head. The boy smiled and waved at her.

"I'm sorry for calling you out during this weather, Alibaba-chan," Kougyoku apologized as she pulled out the wooden chair opposite him. Her cheeks turned red. "I – I just don't have anyone else I can talk to…"

The look he gave her in return featured no judgement, only pure concern.

"Are you alright Kougyoku?"

She looked away from his soft eyes, embarrassed. Ashamed. Although she was the one who had called him out to a café on this rainy day, she couldn't quite bring herself to express her feelings.

Before she had a chance to attempt to reply, or at least form a coherent sentence, the waiter approached their table.

He pulled a notepad and pen from his apron pocket, "May I take your order?"

"Just a regular Cappuccino, thanks."

Kougyoku glanced briefly at the chalkboard that hanged above the counter. "A mocha please."

Pause.

The waiter smiled politely, "And what size?"

Her eyes widened, cheeks reddened and her heartbeat accelerated. "Oh my god – um, I'm so sorry – "

He chuckled, did he see her as an idiot like she did at that moment? Did Alibaba too realize how awkward and hopeless she was?

"No worries, will a large do?"

"Y-yes…!"

As soon as the waiter turned away, she buried her face in her hands, wishing to disappear. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up slowly.

"It's not that big of a deal," Alibaba grinned. "Happens all the time, I've seen Morgiana do it too."

At the mention of her name, Kougyoku impulsively moaned. The girl who her cousin – her crush – loved. She didn't hate her, the girl had done nothing wrong, and she barely even knew her. More than anything, tears sprang to her eyes unwillingly and she brought a hand to her face.

"Alibaba-chan…"

His eyes widened, and he rummaged through his pockets. A few seconds of fumbling, before he thrust the napkin at her.

"Here – take this. Sorry it's a little crumpled, but I swear it's clean," His expression was so worried that it almost made her laugh. But she couldn't help but be comforted by his genuineness. She thanked him wordlessly, and took the napkin that he offered.

He didn't pry, simply waited until she was ready to talk. Honestly, she was blessed that her only friend was so good to her. The girl didn't feel as if she deserved him.

"I'm here, no matter what happens."

And as she glanced up at him, he smiled comfortingly. So oblivious. Tears overwhelmed her yet again, her weakness, this horrible emotional fragility.

"I – I love Hakuryuu-chan," She lifted her head from her hands, and with a tear stained face, she smiled bitterly. "Even though, even though he only has eyes for someone else...I still, I - "

By now she was crying, unable to keep her emotions under control. She barely registered his chair scraping against the wooden floor and the sound his footsteps made. Warm arms wrapped around her trembling body, and she found herself being held close to his chest.

"Unrequited love is the worst, isn't it?" Alibaba murmured softly. He patted her head with his hand, warm, comforting. His eyes softened.

Closing her eyes, and fisting her hand in his sweater, she managed a small nod.

oOo

She felt so small in his arms, as if she were a small bird, flitting, restless, delicate. As he caressed her warm head, feeling soft, silky strands fall through his fingers, he tried so hard to remember who he was.

Across from the café, holding a dark grey umbrella, was him.

A dark overcoat hid is frame, yet he could not be confused with anyone else. Alibaba didn't avert his eyes.

Instead, he held the girl closer to him.

oOo

Kougyoku closed the door behind her. She could still hear the rain, it surrounded the white house like a translucent shroud. Not even there was she safe. Her cold feet patted across the cold wooden floor, she could see light flickering from the living room, Judal and Kouha's heads dangling over the couch. A soft smile graced her face – she couldn't deny that they were cute – when they were unconscious at least.

She walked into the living room, taking a seat in a plush white armchair. Watching their sleeping faces, her mind drifted away along with the stormy ocean waves.

oOo

She woke to find the room empty and dark. A blanket was draped across her body carefully, it was soft, warm and smelt of cinnamon. Before she could stand up, the front door opened, allowing a brief glimpse into the outside world. Then as quickly as it opened, it was shut. Kougyoku remained still, not daring to move a single muscle. _What am I waiting for? _

For a moment, the footsteps ceases. They start again, slower this time, perhaps having noticed the sleeping girl in the armchair.

Heat radiates from whoever it is. They smell of rain and some kind of unfamiliar plant – it was a scent she was wholly accustomed to. The room was silent apart from the faint pitter-patter of rain and sound of soft breathing. Slowly, the person moved closer, she could feel the heat radiating from them on her face and then –

"_I'm sorry."_

The heat disappeared, the person recoiled from her as if they were afraid. Hakuryuu closed the living room door quietly behind him as he left her all alone.

Her eyes fluttered open and she was met with darkness.

oOo

When the sun rose, she was already awake. Her very being was wracked with fatigue, more tired than when she rested her head on her pillow that night. Through her window, she could see the clear summer sky, and the morning dew that hung delicately from vibrant green leaves. The ocean was calm, serene even, and the sand looked so soft that she wished she could fall into it and disappear.

Throwing her covers off her, she placed her feet on polished wood. Kougyoku padded across the room to the closet, picking up her favourite white dress and big floppy hat which she threw haphazardly on the bed.

Whilst passing by the mirror that hung in the bathroom, she noted the dark circles under her eyes. The rose haired girl picked up her concealer and began.

The smell of pancakes; sweet - too sweet, punctured her nose as she entered the kitchen. Koumei turned around, dressed in their older brother's apron that was a bit too big for him.

"Ah Kougyoku – breakfast is on the table."

She glanced at the meal that laid itself on the wooden surface, maple syrup seemed to have exploded, soaking the pancake until it was nothing more than a sponge.

Taking a seat at the table, she asked, "Why are you cooking today?" _Who let you cook?_

"Hm?" Her brother fiddled with the stove, producing loud clicking noises that spelt no good outcome. "Hakuei is sick and Kouen is looking after her…and god knows where Hakuryuu went."

Narrowing her eyes, she cut a piece of the saturated pancake.

"Ah."

It was too sweet.

oOo

The sun's rays could not penetrate through her parasol. Though she appreciated its warmth and its light, she couldn't bear getting sunburnt.

People jogged by her, sweat glistening on their skin, some with earphones dangling from the sides of the head, some holding water bottles that reflected the sun's rays, and some had both. She envied them as much as she tried to deny it, or rather, the strange mix of determination and satisfaction that graced each one of their shiny faces.

Turning left, she made her way down the stone steps that led to the beach. The girl pulled her flats off, holding them in one hand as she began to walk. Her long hair spread out behind her as the wind rushed past her. The ocean beckoned her, sparkling alluringly, promising answers to questions that plagued her mind every day. At the water's edge, her feet hesitated. The cool sea ran over her toes, offering her comfort and love and –

"_Kougyoku."_

complacency.

She whipped around, eyes widening in shock as the person she both wanted and was afraid to see stood behind her. His face, one of concern, stared at her and she felt horribly exposed once again, her weaknesses and desires laid bare. Her parasol dropped to the ground and she involuntarily took a step back.

Shaking her head, so, so afraid, all she could manage was a pitiful, "N-no…no…"

He reached towards her hesitantly, a thousand words in his azure eyes, and she knew not what a single one meant. She recoiled from him, and the hurt that flashed across his face terrified her. Turning away, unable to bear seeing him in pain, she ran.

Splashing through the waves, hearing him pursue her, calling her name all the while. She didn't turn, only clumsily tried to escape, tears of confusion and pain threatening to overflow. Since she was born, she always knew she was nothing more than a coward. Her inability to stand up for her mother when she _knew_ had always plagued her. It was that weakness and act of self-preservation that resulted in her mother's disappearance.

And death.

He caught her.

Wrapping his arms securely around her small frame, he was her anchor. She brought her hands up to her face, hiding, always hiding, feeling her tear stained cheeks.

"I'm sorry _Kougyoku_, I'm sorry, I'm – "

She was turned around suddenly by him, his face contorted into an expression that was unfathomable.

"You deserve so much better," he said, agony dripping from every word.

Hakuryuu smiled painfully.

"So much better than me."

She realized it then. As he held her shoulders so tightly that she thought she might break.

That she was not the only one suffering.

Bringing her hands to his face, she pulled him towards her.

* * *

**A/N Thank you so much for reading this chapter! I think we're almost at the end of gyoku and ryuu's story…I'm very sorry this took so long to update, school has not been very nice, but now that I'm on holidays, I'm hoping to get this fic done as soon as possible. Again, thank you so much for sticking with me, and I earnestly hope you enjoy this chapter!**


	10. Gardenias

**Ever Elusive**

_By elsiie_

**Genre: **Romance, Drama

**Rating: **T

**Summary:** The feeling that consumed her body and mind. It was probably something akin to…jealousy. Ryuu/Gyoku. AU.

**Characters: **Ren Hakuryuu, Ren Kougyoku

* * *

**Chapter Ten –** Gardenias

* * *

Her lips met his, and she felt him stiffen. It was the first time she had initiated a kiss, and like her, it was passionate and clumsy. When he didn't respond to it, to her pitiful and desperate attempt to express her feelings, her blood grew cold. She opened her eyes slowly and dropped her hands. Shame overwhelmed her body, he must have thought she was disgusting.

Looking at the sea, its calm waves, she stammered at her feet, "I - I'm sorry."

The girl couldn't bear to look at him, with tears welling up in her eyes, she turned to run. Then her arm was pulled back, and she was enveloped by pure warmth. His lips met hers with such strength that she found herself surprised by the intensity of the sensation. She felt his hands tangle in her hair, gentle yet fierce and oh so lonely.

She didn't care if she was being used.

As he brought her closer and closer, she chanted those magic words over and over in her head. She would be her replacement and she wouldn't mind. For if she was able to stay by his side, then she could endure…

Kougyoku began to cry. She pushed him away, feeling his warm skin coveted by material underneath her fingers. Her vision was blurry, unclear, he was a mess of colours in front of her. A mess of colours that she desperately wanted to blindly dive into. Yet she wasn't able to, no matter how much she wanted to, she just _couldn't. _

"I'm s – sorry Hakuryuu-chan," she hid her face from him, her disgusting, tear-stained, shameful, face. "I – I can't be her…replacement."

The sound of waves was almost deafening.

When she had finally gathered the courage to meet his eyes, she was shocked by the obvious pain that laid bare for the world to see. Lifting a hesitant hand, she reached towards him, only to be slapped away. As if he was as shocked as her, he recoiled, eyes wide.

"Kougyoku, I – "

She interrupted him, equally hurt, holding her hand close to her chest, "No, I understand."

Before she knew it, her face had once again contorted into an almost hateful expression, it took all of her self-control to stop herself from sobbing.

_I'm sorry I fell in love with you. _

Only all she could manage to whisper was a simple, pathetic; 'I'm sorry'.

And, like the coward she was, she ran.

oOo

The rose haired girl found herself at the doorstep of the white house a year later. It was unchanged, thanks to the housekeeper, the walls still in pristine condition, the flowerbeds at the front still shining with morning dew. Taking the silver key from her purse, she unlocked the door.

Sunlight streamed in through the windows, illuminating the hallway, causing the polished wood to almost sparkle.

"Miss Kougyoku!"

The owner of the voice, a middle-aged woman with a kind smile, emerged from the kitchen. Her apron was covered in sweet white powder that must have been sugar. Kougyoku offered her a soft smile in return, letting her bags drop gently to the floor.

"It's been a while, hasn't it? I didn't think you'd be here till tomorrow!"

"Yes…it has," she murmured absently, eyes scanning the hallway, from the polished floors to the white ceiling.

When she closed her eyes, she could almost recall that summer that once seemed so distant. The light music that drifted from his room, elegant fingers plucking strings, and the scent of rain and foreign plants. He remained in the house still, a quiet ghost, never far from her mind and body. An ever-present figure, not looking for attention, but nevertheless holding her eyes.

The wizened woman came forward, ready to take Kougyoku's bags, when the younger shook her head.

"Thank you, but I can do it," another small smile, as if to reassure the housekeeper.

She picked up the bags, it didn't weigh much, she hadn't planned to stay for long. The stairs creaked slightly underneath her as she climbed them, taking care to mind her step. When the door to the kitchen closed, she took a deep breath and stared ahead.

_I'm here._

OOo

He caught her. His arms were warm but wet, the white shirt almost transparent. She tried to pry his arms from around her, fighting the overwhelming urge to sink into his hold. Yet, he only held tighter.

"Let me talk, Kougyoku - "

The girl shook her head wildly. There was no way she could bear it, a direct rejection from someone she loved so deeply – she couldn't. She wouldn't. She wouldn't give into the warmth.

Breathing heavily, heart pounding, she demanded, "Let go of me!"

Her voice cracked pitifully, and even her fingers were beginning to cease in their desperate movements.

"I won't."

The tenderness that laced his voice in that moment made her whole body freeze. Hakuryuu's hold around her tightened, and she felt him rest his head on her shoulder. She dropped her hands, unable to resist any longer, not when every part of her wanted to accept him wholly.

He sighed into her neck, and murmured with a heavy voice, "I'm cruel."

She didn't move, her eyes shut tightly, heart beating in her ears.

"I lied to you. That night – the night of Sinbad's party – I wasn't thinking of Morgiana."

She began to tremble.

"I wanted you to hate me. I wanted you to see me as the," he let out a bitter chuckle. "The disgusting person I really am."

"_You're not!"_ her voice shook, but she was determined. She felt him start. "D – don't be an idiot, all those times, all those times you've…"

The feeling of his lips on hers, breathing air, _life. _His arm holding her back, letting the truck rush past them. The warm jacket that he draped around her shoulders as they were trapped by rain.

But most of all, he made her forget.

Forget the time when her mind was not her own, where she hurt so many, where _he_ – the man who she once trusted unconditionally – pulled the strings that moved her fingers.

Tears streaming down her face, as they had done so many times that day, she clutched at his arms.

"You _saved me." _

oOo

She dragged her blanket across the floor and into the living room. Her feet padded across the surface as she made her way to the sofa where she threw the blanket. The older woman had long since left, leaving Kougyoku all alone in the house. Making herself comfortable, she settled into the plush sofa, bringing the warm wool blanket across her legs. She leaned forward, taking the coffee mug off the table and bringing it to her lips. It was warm and sweet, yet not overly so, the cinnamon she sprinkled doing its job.

The only light was from the lamp that sat on the glass table. It illuminated the room well enough and was not overly bright, so she remained still on the seat, sipping the hot chocolate. When she had drained the cup of every last drop, it was delicious – she couldn't help but be proud of her handiwork – she placed it back on the coffee table.

It was fairly late, she couldn't quite see the clock's hands, but she assumed it was around ten or eleven. Looking out the window, she could make it out the bright moon and the multitude of stars, all sparkling, each one unique.

As she closed her eyes, waiting for sleep to consume her, she could almost hear that familiar melody.

oOo

"I envied you – I envied your kindness and your strength," she cried. "So don't say you're disgusting, because you're the most – "

He released her from him, and for a short second, she thought that she had hurt him yet again. But when she turned, she found that there were also tears streaming down his face. Hakuryuu, the person she loved, kneeled in the sea, took her hands and kissed them. Letting his lips meet her knuckles, warm skin on cold fingers.

He laughed before looking up into her eyes and smiling warmly, his own blue ones still brimming with tears.

"Are you sure I'm the one who's kind and gentle?"

Unable to help herself, she too broke into a smile. Wiping away her tears, she moved her hands from his lips to the sides of his face.

"Don't look at me, okay?" She whispered.

After a brief pause and what seemed like confusion flitting across his face, he closed his eyes obediently. She turned her head, making sure there was no one watching them, and leaned forward, kissing away the droplets of tears that clung to his eyelashes.

He opened his eyes in surprise and she let her hands drop, cheeks and the tips of her ears the same brilliant shade of crimson.

Then, the boy burst into laughter.

"Wh – what?!" She didn't think it was possible, but her face heated up even more and she was sure that she was starting to resemble a tomato.

Wiping away tears of laughter this time, he said unabashedly, with no hint of shame, "You're so cute."

Her eyes blinked furiously, and suddenly the wind felt so very warm. She turned away, hiding her smile.

He stood up, letting the waves splash around them and held out a hand.

"Let's go, Kougyoku."

oOo

She didn't know where she was, a green field sprinkled with sparkling daisies, but she didn't mind. Kougyoku didn't bother to look behind her, she cared not for the past, instead staring straight ahead.

She could see a lone figure walking. They seemed lonely, back bent ever so slightly, pace too slow. Starting to follow them, she felt the grass tickle her bare legs, the daisies sang their little tune in a language she didn't know. The figure slowly began to disappear, walking further and further away from her. She pumped her legs faster, desperate to reach them. She knew not who they were, but only that she had to take their hand in hers and promise them that everything was going to be alright.

Suddenly, sunflowers began to burst from clumps of grass. They stretched high into the sky, towering over her form. For a moment, she was at a loss, they trapped her as if they were a cage. But a small cry compelled her to persist.

She thrust her hands into the sunflowers, ripping through them, hearing cries of pain that dissipated into nothing. Again and again, she tore into the flowers, the voice getting louder and louder. Then finally, she reached them.

A small form, crouched in the middle of the sunflowers. They danced around the child, singing their merry song that was dripping with lies. Like the ones before, she clawed through the flowers, until the song had stopped.

The child looked up at her with large blue eyes and dark hair and she felt her heart stop. He reached for her with his chubby hands, face scrunched up and without hesitating, she picked him up. Feeling him rest his head against her cheek, she let out a sigh.

"You're always so much trouble, huh?" Yet she couldn't help but smile warmly.

Kougyoku walked through the sunflower remains, watching as the wind carried them away. Then, in the distance, he was waiting. Violin in one hand, bow in the other, playing a melody that unlike the sunflowers' song, soothed her.

The boy on her shoulder immediately turned around, his face lighting up. Without fear, he jumped from the safety of her hold, and began to run. She too, broke into a sprint, not so much wanting to catch the child, but rather reach the figure in the distance. Even from so far away, she knew exactly who it was. Having heard their noisy footsteps, the person turned around, dropping the instrument.

Like children, they threw themselves at him. He laughed, a warm sound that made her heart beat faster. Capturing the two of them in a tight embrace and with strength that only he possessed, he twirled them around. She heard the child giggle and soon, she joined him, their laughter mixing into the summer sky. He set them down on the ground, and the moment the boy's feet touched grass, he began to fade. She didn't cry, or call out, simply watching as the child's ever-present smile scattered into blue.

It was just them left, in a field that seemed simultaneously foreign and familiar. His arms wrapped around her, and hers around him, clutching at his shirt.

"…gyoku," he spoke, voice soft. Close yet oh so far away.

She buried her head further into his neck, breathing in his scent. He let his fingers rest in her long hair, strands of rose, long and winding.

"_Kougyoku."_

Opening her eyes, she smiled warmly. He smelt faintly of rain, and she didn't mind at all.

"Welcome home," her sleepy but cheerful greeting incited him to smile gently in return.

Hakuryuu leant forward, pressing his lips to her forehead. A warm gesture that she looked forward to receiving every time she woke from that day onwards.

"Sorry I'm late."

* * *

**A/N Thank you so much for sticking with me and these dumb precious children. I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I enjoyed writing it! I was at a lost on how to end it, but I think this sappy ending is fine ahaha…(Some very, very horrible things could have happened, but I think we're both glad that I chose not to be Satan.)**


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